Behind the Lies
by MissyMo2005
Summary: Warning! This story contains domestic abuse so please don't read if it's going to upset you. AU- Erin finds herself trapped in a situation she never thought she'd be in. A chance encounter could help her turn her life around, but will she tell him the truth about what is happening and let him help her? (I own nothing.) *re-uploaded with improved format for easier reading*
1. Chapter 1

_Authors Note- First of all... a WARNING! This story does contain domestic abuse, so if this is going to upset you please don't read any further! _

_This is something I've been working on for a while now, that I never really had any intention of publishing. I owe a massive thanks to Kelon for helping me with this and giving me the confidence to publish this. I am still working on my other stories, I just thought I'd put this out there._

_(I've made some changes to the format to make it easier to read and re uploaded)_

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Chapter One.

Erin was absolutely exhausted by the time she finally came to the end of her shift that night. She hated waitressing with a passion, particularly at the grubby little restaurant she was currently working at. This was so not where she'd pictured herself ending up when she'd left school. She'd been determined to make something of herself, to do something with her life. She'd got little choice though, if she wanted to keep a roof over her head that was, she'd either waitress or be homeless. She kept telling herself things would get better, that she'd get her chance to make something of herself, but she found herself being forced to face the hopeless reality that this was it, she was going to spend the rest of her life serving rude and ungrateful customers for a miniscule wage that was just enough to pay the rent, put food on the table and fuel her boyfriend's gambling and alcohol.

She shook her head slightly as she started to mop the floor quickly, it was late and she just wanted to finish and get out of there. It was a bit of a stretch to say she wanted to get home, she wasn't sure she really wanted to get home at all. So many times she'd considered shoving her things into a bag and running as far away as she could, but she knew in reality it was hopeless. He'd find her, he always did and things would be so much worse afterwards. It broke her heart, to think that only a few years ago she'd left school- so full of hope and excitement. She'd met Luke shortly after that, she'd thought he was the man who she was going to marry and live happily ever after. He'd seemed like the perfect man at the time, she'd trusted him. Now, she found herself trapped in an unhappy relationship, doing a job she hated so she could take care of a man she loathed. She'd never felt so trapped in her life.

She walked the few blocks to their apartment quickly, it was late and she was freezing cold. Her winter coat was falling apart and there was no way it was going to survive another harsh Chicago winter but she couldn't afford to buy a new one, not after Luke had managed to gamble away most of her salary from last month. She shook her head slightly as she climbed up the steps to the apartment, bracing herself for what she was going to find on the other side. She walked into the building and frowned, seeing the hallway lined with cops. 'Please say he hasn't done something stupid.' she thought to herself, she wanted to go to bed, not have the police sticking their noses in again. In a way she hoped he had done something stupid, if he went to jail maybe she could finally get her life back on track. Unfortunately she'd unlocked the door to find him sitting on the sofa, in his usual position, beer in hand and watching tv.

His head snapped up as she quietly shut the door behind her. She felt her heart sink, she knew that look in his eyes. She should have stayed at work longer, this wasn't going to be a good night. "Where have you been?" He demanded, getting unsteadily to his feet and coming towards her. She cringed back against the wall as he towered over her.

"I told you Luke, I had to work late." She said quietly, not meeting his eyes. She was telling the truth, but somehow he always managed to make it seem like she was lying about something. She flinched as he brought his hand up and placed it heavily on her shoulder.

"Don't lie to me!" He yelled, getting right in her face. She drew in a deep breath, preparing for the inevitable argument that was going to come. She'd just stand there and take it, she could smell the alcohol on his breath and she knew she'd have to be careful it didn't escalate.

"I was working late because we need the money. You spent my salary from last month and we need to pay the rent somehow." She said calmly, looking up at him. She couldn't believe the change in him, he wasn't the man she'd fallen in love with anymore. He still had the same messy blonde hair, but he had an empty look in his blue eyes and he seemed to have aged so much over the past few years. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him smile, he alternated between furious and annoyed, depending on how much he'd had to drink that day. She watched him frown and clench his jaw, a sure sign that trouble was on the way.

"Are you saying this is my fault?!" He yelled, his grip tightening on her shoulder. She cringed back against the wall, wondering if the neighbours were going to come and complain about the noise again. "Answer me!" He yelled, bringing his other hand up and slapping her roughly across the face. She winced as she felt his hand connect with her skin, she knew no matter what she said to him he wasn't going to let it go. He was just in one of those moods. She didn't know what had happened to the Luke she'd fallen in love with, the man who used to send her flowers and take her out to dinner. He'd lost his job six months ago and things had gone downhill from then. She'd been forced to put her dreams of going to the police academy on hold, taking a waitressing job to pay the bills until he got back on his feet. Only he wasn't getting back on his feet anytime soon, he was content with sitting around the apartment drinking all day.

She ducked out from under his arm, not wanting to play his games that night. She was too tired to even humour him by that point. She'd been working so many extra shifts she couldn't remember the last time she'd had a day off and it was really starting to take its toll. "I think you've had enough for one night." She said, picking up the empty bottle of scotch from the coffee table and clearing away the numerous beer bottles.

"I'll decide when I've had enough!" He yelled, suddenly appearing in front of her again. He wrenched the empty bottle out of her hand as she sighed defeatedly, turning to walk in to the kitchen. He was still yelling at her, but she wasn't even listening to him. He yelled so much it was just background noise. The thing that did catch her attention was the sound of shattering glass as he threw the scotch bottle across the apartment at her. She felt the air woosh by her face, then the sound of splintering glass. She put the beer bottles on the counter and turned to face him, her hands shaking slightly. "Answer me." He yelled, shoving her roughly against the wall.

She hadn't got a clue what he wanted her to answer, she hadn't been listening to him at all. "I said answer me you stupid cow!" He yelled, hitting her across the face again. She recoiled slightly, trying to work out how to get out of it. He'd backed her in to a corner and she'd got nowhere to go.

"Luke, honey…" She started, placing a hand gently on his cheek. It was a long shot, she knew that. She was hoping maybe she could talk her way out of it. He looked at her for a moment, and she started to feel a little bit of hope, which was quickly shattered again as he shoved her roughly to the floor. She cried out in pain as she hit her head on the bookshelf and felt the room start spinning around her.

She laid there, waiting for the inevitable blow that was coming, that would usually knock her out cold. She couldn't help but wonder how she'd ended up like this, why she couldn't just pull herself together and leave him. She'd always thought she'd be tough enough to stand up for herself, but she was starting to realise exactly how people ended up trapped in situations like her own. She was still lying there, waiting for the final blow when she realised there were voices in the room that she didn't recognise. She tried to open her eyes to look around, but she couldn't. The room was spinning around her, the pain in her head throbbing.

She felt a cool pair of hands on the side of her head and she opened her eyes again slowly, trying to focus on the face that was peering down at her. She was just so tired, she tried to keep her eyes open but she felt her eyes start to droop closed again and she wasn't sure she had the will to fight it. "No… come on, open your eyes for me! What's your name?" The voice said again and she tried to focus on what he was saying.

"Erin…" She mumbled quietly, blinking up at him.

"Ok Erin… I'm Jay, I need you to stay awake ok? Just keep talking to me?" He said, peering down at the woman sprawled out on the floor in front of him. No response. "Erin?" He shook her gently, feeling relieved as her eyes fluttered open again. "'Kay…" She muttered, her eyes closing again.

Keeping one eye on her Jay turned to look at his partner Antonio. "How far out is the ambulance?" He asked, not knowing how much longer this young woman was going to hang on.

"Two minutes." He heard Antonio say as he pushed the guy they'd found in the apartment towards the door.

"Hang in there for me Erin." He said, placing his fingers on her neck to check for a pulse. They'd been down stairs, finishing up searching the apartment below this one when they'd heard screaming and shouting. He and Antonio had been sent up there to check it out while the rest of the intelligence unit finished searching. He was glad they had, he dreaded to think what might have happened if they hadn't interrupted. There was just something about that guy when he'd answered the door that had made them suspicious. He couldn't be sure if it was the way his breath stunk of alcohol or the way he'd only opened the door a tiny crack, but he'd shoved the door open wider, revealing a woman sprawled out on the floor in the corner, blood pooling around her. The man had tried to deny all knowledge but Antonio had quickly put a set of handcuffs on him, his bruised and grazed knuckles suggesting he knew far more than he was letting on.

"Erin?" Jay asked again, shaking her gently as he snapped out of his thoughts. "Erin?" He asked again, feeling his heart sink. "Come on Erin!" He muttered, feeling for a pulse again. It was weak but it was still there. "You can't let him win… Come on!" He said again, looking over his shoulder just in time to see the paramedics coming in. He was quickly pushed to the side as they started to work, quickly scooping her up and on to a stretcher. He followed them down the stairs without even thinking about it, hesitating as they got to the ambulance.

He felt Antonio's hand on his back. "Go- I'll explain to Voight." He said, pushing Jay towards the ambulance. He didn't need telling twice, jumping in to the back of the ambulance with her. He needed to make sure she was going to be ok, and more importantly that she wasn't going to go back to that sick bastard when she got out of the hospital.

He heard the familiar noise of sirens as the ambulance started to pull away and he looked at the woman lying on the stretcher. She was young, couldn't have been any older than him. She looked older though, he could see from the lines on her face she spent a lot of her time frowning. He couldn't even tell what colour her hair was, it had a strange orange tinge to it from the blood that was seeping from her scalp despite the pressure that the paramedic was putting on it. "What's her name?" The paramedic asked him, making him jump slightly.

"Erin." He said quickly, getting a nod from the paramedic.

"Erin? Can you hear me? Erin?" The paramedic called, taking out a torch and shining it in to each of her eyes in turn. The paramedic looked up and met Jay's eyes. He'd seen that look before, the day one of his coworkers was shot.

"Come on Erin." He said quietly, she needed to be ok.

The short journey to the hospital felt like an eternity to him, listening to the erratic beeping of the monitors. He found himself being shoved out of the way as a flurry of doctors and nurses surrounded Erin. He went and sat in the waiting room he'd been directed to. He didn't know why this one was affecting him so much, he'd seen things like this so many times, more than he'd like to. He just got the feeling she had no one else; why else would she have stayed with that man? He ran his hands through his hair and looked at his watch. It was the early hours of the morning, he hadn't slept properly for days but he knew he wouldn't get any rest if he went home. He needed to make sure she was going to be ok. He pulled out his phone as it started to ring. "Halstead." He said wearily, leaning his head on his hand.

"Halstead, where are you?" He recognised the voice on the other end of the phone immediately.

"I'm at the hospital Voight, the girl from the domestic me and Antonio broke up… I'm just waiting to see if she's going to make it." He said quietly, waiting to see if his boss was going to object.

"Stay with her, if she wakes up take her statement. Antonio has got the boyfriend. Let me know how it goes." Voight said quickly, hanging up before Jay had a chance to answer him. He shoved his phone back into his pocket, leaning his head back against the wall. It was odd, that Antonio was interviewing the boyfriend, they didn't usual deal with things like that. He was too tired to worry about it though, he'd ask Antonio later.

He must have fallen asleep, because he opened his eyes what felt like only seconds later to find a doctor standing over him. "Sorry." The doctor smiled apologetically before he continued. "Miss Lindsay is stable for the moment. We are keeping a close eye on her though; there is the potential for permanent damage if there is any further swelling in the brain. She also has multiple broken ribs and a broken nose. She's going to be in a lot of pain when she wakes up." The doctor said, looking at Jay sadly. He nodded and got to his feet slowly, his muscles crying out in protest.

"Can I see her?" He asked quietly, not knowing if he'd be allowed. He felt the relief wash through him as the doctor nodded, pointing to a room down the hall. Jay thanked him quickly before heading quickly down the hall.

It was odd, the strange need he felt to make sure she was ok, to protect her. He couldn't help but wonder if Antonio had cracked the boyfriend, knowing there was little they could do about it if Erin refused to press charges and the boyfriend didn't confess. He tried to get the thoughts out of his head, reminding himself there was a very real possibility that Erin wouldn't wake up from this. He slowly opened the door, running his eyes over her sleeping form. She looked familiar- he just couldn't work out where he might have seen her before. He'd have to ask her if she woke up. He sat down in the little green chair next to the bed, gently taking her hand in to his own. He was afraid he was going to end up hurting her, or that him being there when she woke up might frighten her. He didn't want her to wake up in hospital on her own either, so he decided to stay where he was. He stifled a yawn as he watched the steady rise and fall of her chest, the rhythmic beeping of the machines. She looked so peaceful, lying there sleeping- peaceful. He leant his head back against the chair and felt his eyes start to droop closed. It had been one of the longest days of his career- he just hoped it was going to have a happy ending.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

He woke up again with a stiff neck and seriously confused about where he was. He blinked a couple of times, the daylight in the room blinding him. He looked at the tiny clock on the wall and realised it was still early, only 7am. He felt like he'd been asleep for hours, rather than the few hours he actually had. It was a similar feeling to when he'd been on patrol in uniform and working nights, something he was thankful that he rarely had to do anymore. He took his phone out and noticed several messages from Voight, asking for updates. He was confused as to why his boss wanted to know, but he filled him in on what he knew anyway. He knew better than to ask too many questions where Voight was concerned. He was probably better off not knowing. He looked over at her sleeping form, still lying in the exact same position she had been earlier, her hand still in his own. He sighed quietly, knowing it was stupid of him to think she was going to magically recover overnight. He leant his head back against the chair and closed his eyes again, hoping to get a few more minutes sleep.

He woke up again a couple of hours later, feeling a slight pressure on his hand. He was confused to start with and then he realised it was Erin, tightening her fingers around his hand slightly. He looked up at her to see her lying there with her eyes open, watching him. He was about to open his mouth when he realised he had nothing to say. What was he going to say to her? Luckily for him she broke the silence. She'd been lying there for the past twenty minutes waiting for him to wake up to ask what on earth he was doing there. She had vague memories of lying on her apartment floor and a police officer talking to her. She'd guessed from the badge sticking out of his right pocket it was probably the same man, but it still didn't explain what he was doing sitting by her hospital bed holding her hand. She'd been in this situation before and she usually found Luke sitting by her bedside. They'd go through their usual routine- he'd apologise, beg for forgiveness and promise her it would never happen again. She'd believe him, like she always did, fooling herself into thinking it would be different this time, that he'd changed.

That was why she was confused, why wasn't Luke there? There was no way he knew there was a policeman with her, he'd never have allowed that. No way, he lost his temper if another man so much as gave her a sideways glance on the street- he'd never have allowed this. He followed her glance down to where their hands laid on the bed, still intertwined. He felt his cheeks flush slightly as he slowly retracted his hand. "Where's Luke?" She asked slowly, her voice coming out as a whisper.

He passed her a cup of water that she gratefully took, her mouth was so dry. He looked up at her and paused for a second before he spoke. "He's at the precinct with my colleague." He said, raising an eyebrow at her.

It clicked in her brain then, she knew exactly why he was there. "So you are here to try and get a statement? I tripped and fell ok? Nothing more to it." She said with a distinctly frosty tone to her voice, turning her head away from him.

She'd been in this situation before, the last time Luke had put her in hospital, police sticking their noses in where they weren't wanted, trying to get her to press charges. They always tried to persuade her it was for her own good, that it would help her turn her life around and move on. She'd never done it though. They never seemed to understand that Luke was a good man, he was just having a tough time- they both were. She loved him and he loved her, this was…. well she didn't know what to say about it. She knew it shouldn't be happening, as she'd pointed out to the last police officer she wasn't stupid. She loved him. She couldn't send him to jail. Jay just sat there quietly, trying to work out what to say to her. He wasn't officially there to get her statement, it was technically his day off. If she wanted to give a statement and put the bastard in jail though, he'd be more than happy to oblige.

After a few minutes silence he reached out to take her hand again, but she flinched and quickly moved it out of his reach. He realised he probably should have seen that coming. "Erin?" He said quietly but he got no response, she still had her head facing in the other direction, refusing to look at him. He decided to carry on anyway, figuring he might as well just say what he had to say. "Erin, look I'm not stupid enough to believe that you somehow managed to trip and fall on top of a broken bottle of scotch and break your ribs and your nose- hell I don't think anyone is stupid enough to believe that! I'm not here as a cop ok? I'm here because I'm worried about you. So talk to me, please?" He said, getting quieter towards the end, almost begging.

She turned to look at him, wincing slightly as she put a little too much pressure on one of her injured ribs. She had to admit, he looked like hell. The guy had obviously been asleep by her bed all night, he was persistent- she'd give him that much at least. He could see her thinking as she looked at him, wondering what she should say, if she should tell him anything. He knew she was trying to work out if she could trust him, if she should tell a total stranger about her totally screwed up life. He didn't say anything; he just sat there and waited to see if she'd say anything. He knew if he pushed it she'd shut him out completely and he'd lose any chance he might have of getting her to admit that she needed help. They were still sitting there in silence, staring at each other when his phone rang, breaking the silence. He pulled his eyes away from hers and pulled it out of his pocket, rolling his eyes slightly as he saw the name on the screen. What on earth was going on with Voight? He looked at Erin before answering his phone. "Halstead." He said, waiting for Voight to cut to the chase. "Yeah I'm still at the hospital…. No…. Fine… Yeah… Ok… Why are you- Hello?" Erin was trying to work out what the conversation was about and wasn't having much luck figuring anything out, other than the fact that he'd just been hung up on.

He gave her a small smile as he pushed the phone back into his pocket, at least she was looking at him. Maybe he could get her to talk after all. "So then, what do you do for a living?" He asked her casually, figuring if he could get her talking about something else she might open up a bit.

She looked a little surprised by his new line of questioning, pausing for a second before she answered. "I'm waitressing at the minute." She replied, rolling her eyes slightly. He smiled a little, he could hear the tone of disgust in her voice.

"You don't like it." He said, a statement rather than a question.

She looked back over to him. "I hate it… I absolutely hate it." She said, shaking her head slightly.

"Why'd you do it then?" He asked, looking at her expectantly and waiting for an answer.

She let out a dry, shallow laugh. "Gotta pay the bills somehow right?" She replied, a little surprised by his seemingly idealistic view that she could just leave her job because she didn't like it.

Jay could tell she wasn't telling him the whole truth but he let it go, moving on to another question just to keep her talking."Where are you waitressing at the minute?" He asked her, wondering if that was why she looked familiar.

"The all night place a few blocks over from the hospital?" She said and he nodded, he'd been in there a few times when they'd been working late.

"I thought you looked familiar." He smiled and she just shrugged. She didn't tend to remember the customers that came through, there were so many different people, none of whom she had any interest in getting to know.

"What do you want to do after you finish waitressing?" He asked her.

She frowned a little, he was too good at this, she was going to end up forgetting herself and accidentally telling him all the things she never told anyone if she wasn't careful. She shrugged again. "I thought about the police academy, but I doubt they'd want someone like me." She said, looking over his shoulder and out the window. She barely heard him as he spoke again, too focused on the man she could see out of the window, leather jacket and greying hair. It couldn't be him, could it? Why on earth would he be there? She leant her head back against the pillows and rubbed her head gently. She had a pounding headache, evidence of how hard she'd hit her head, maybe she was imagining it. She looked back at Jay who was still talking, trying to focus on what he was saying. When her eyes drifted back to the window he was gone again, she must have imagined it.

She focused back on what Jay was asking her, something about why she hadn't applied to the academy. She answered him before she even thought about what was coming out of her mouth. "Because someone has to a responsible adult and put a roof over our heads." She snapped out, then the frown on her forehead deepened as she realised what she'd said.

Jay was quiet for a second before he spoke, knowing he was on dangerous territory. "So Luke, your boyfriend, he doesn't work?" He asked quietly.

She shook her head slowly "He got laid off a few months back… hit him hard." She said quietly, avoiding making eye contact with him. Jay was well aware that there was more to the story, but he didn't push her for the details, just sitting quietly and waiting to see if she'd volunteer any more information.

He was just about to start talking to her again, trying to get some more information out of her when she spoke again, so quietly he almost didn't hear her. "He doesn't mean to… He loves me."

She whispered, looking away from him. He was silent, he didn't know what to say to her. He couldn't understand how she'd managed to convince herself that it was ok, that this guy was doing this because he loved her. "Erin… I-" He started, but she looked up at him and quickly interrupted him. "Don't say it. I've heard it all before. It's none of your business. Go home." She said harshly, facing away from him so he wouldn't be able to see the tears that were forming in her eyes. She knew he was right, she couldn't carry on like this, but she couldn't just leave Luke. The thought of sending him to jail made her feel sick to her stomach. She also knew that unless he did go to jail, she'd never get out. So she was stuck, in a vicious circle of working and arguments.

Jay sat there for a moment, staring at her back. He was trying to work out what to say to her to realise the severity of the situation she was in. "He could have killed you-" He started to say, but she interrupted him yet again, without even rolling over to face him.

"I said get out." She said flatly, and he realised he wasn't going to get anywhere. She wasn't interested in anything he had to say anymore, no matter how much he wanted to help her. He slowly stood up and walked out the door, admitting defeat. If she wasn't willing to accept his help then there was nothing he could do to help her, something he hated to admit. He knew what was going to happen, she'd go home with that guy and it would only be a matter of time before she ended up back in that hospital bed again. The thought made him feel sick, knowing there was nothing he could do to prevent it. He walked out to his car that Antonio had dropped off for him earlier, looking forward to going home and getting in to his bed. It had been two days since he'd slept properly, yet he had a feeling that he wasn't going to be getting much sleep despite how tired he was, he had too much on his mind. He knew he wasn't supposed to get overly involved in the cases they saw, for these reasons exactly, but he couldn't help it. There was just something about the way she seemed so resigned to her fate that bothered him, that made him feel that he needed to find a way to help her.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

As predicted he hadn't managed to get any sleep,spending his day off alternating between pacing anxiously around his apartment and trying to get some sleep. His mind was working overtime, trying to come up with a way he could convince Erin to let him help her. He just didn't know how he could manage to make her understand how wrong the situation she was in was. He looked over at the clock again, it wasn't late and he probably still had time to get to the hospital. He knew he shouldn't interfere, she'd made it perfectly clear she didn't want him there and that she didn't want his help. He just couldn't help himself though, giving in to the temptation and heading towards the door.

He made his way through the hospital, up to the room she'd been in when he left her earlier. He still had no idea what he was going to say to her, he'd have to make it up as he went along. He just wanted to make her see sense somehow. He slowly opened the door to the room, then frowned in confusion as he was greeted by an empty bed. He looked around the room, wondering if he'd managed to miss her somehow, but the room was empty. He spun around and went to the nurses station. "I'm looking for Erin Lindsay?" He asked, looking at the young woman who was sat behind the desk.

She looked up at him and frowned. "Are you a relative?" She asked and Jay sighed, he should have known they wouldn't want to tell him anything.

He took his badge out of his pocket and showed it to her, smiling slightly. "She discharged herself about two hours ago, left with a tall blonde guy? I don't know anything else, sorry." She said quickly, turning to help someone else.

He sat in his car and mentally kicked himself for leaving her in the first place. He should have known she'd get up and leave- he could tell from the little time he'd spent with her she was seriously stubborn. He smacked his hand on the steering wheel in frustration, she'd left with that man and he'd let her. He didn't know what he could do, the situation was out of his hands. He could hardly turn up on her doorstep and tell her she was making a mistake- could he? No, that definitely wasn't a good idea. He started his car, slowly driving home. He'd just have to accept he'd missed his opportunity to help her. He had a feeling it wouldn't be long before she was back in the hospital. She might believe her boyfriend had changed, that he hadn't meant to hurt her, but Jay had seen situations like that one too many times. He knew that the chances of it changing were next to none.

Erin was regretting leaving the hospital from the moment she got in the car with Luke. Her head was pounding still, the pain in her ribs was excruciating. She'd been unsteady on her feet the whole way down to the car. The doctors had strongly advised her against leaving, but she didn't really have a choice. The minute Luke had shown up at the hospital she knew he'd insist on her going home- he always did. She'd just gone along with it, it was easier to just do whatever he wanted. He'd apologised to her when they'd first got home, promised her it wouldn't happen again. She'd heard it so many times before, but she still felt the small bit of hope that she did every time he said those words. Things would be different, they had to be. She could get the old Luke back, the man she'd fallen in love with.

Predictably, it hadn't lasted long. All of about twenty four hours before he'd been yelling at her again. She should have seen it coming, she knew that. It didn't stop the sadness she felt as she watched him pick up the scotch bottle and start drinking, quickly draining half of the bottle. She shook her head slightly, stepping around him and walking towards the door. She'd said she was coming back to work that day. She knew she should be at home, resting, but she couldn't face the thought of being stuck in that tiny little apartment with Luke all day. Besides, as much as she hated to admit it, she simply couldn't afford to have the time off.

It was times like these where she really struggled to remind herself why she'd decided to get clean in the first place. She'd love nothing more than to go and get high somewhere, a way to numb all the pain. She had to force her feet to keep moving as she passed someone who she knew with certainty was a dealer. She couldn't go back there again. She needed to stay clean and keep working hard, that's what she tried to convince herself. If she carried on doing that she'd be just fine, at least that's what she had to believe. She knew there' was no way she'd manage to find the strength to carry on if she didn't have that little bit of hope left. It was the only thing that kept her going, and she knew she was foolish, believing that Luke was going to change. He was all she had though, if she left him she was on her own, a thought she couldn't quite bear to face. She hadn't managed to decide what was worse- walking around on eggshells to avoid upsetting Luke, or the thought of coming home every night to an empty apartment.

The thing she struggled with the most was that every now and then, she'd get a fleeting glimpse of the man she'd fallen in love with- the one she thought she'd marry and grow old with. It was moments like those, where they'd sit on the sofa and watch a movie together, that gave her hope that she could get the man she loved back. She blocked out the more painful memories, the moments where he'd turn on her, accusing her of cheating on him amongst various other things. She preferred to focus on the good times they had together, the rest of it was irrelevant, that's what she told herself. As she found herself creating another story to tell her colleagues at work, an explanation for the colourful bruises that were covering her face, she started to wonder how long she could keep it up. It was exhausting, having to keep all the lies straight in her head, having to come up with something believable to tell people. She was ashamed, that was the truth. Ashamed that she wasn't strong enough to stand up for herself, that she'd let herself get trapped in this situation. Luke was right, she was weak, worthless and a total waste of space.

She gotten through half of her shift in a total daze. She wasn't sure if it was the pain medication she'd taken, or the fact she was so lost in thought, but she felt as though she was in another place entirely. It was a miracle she hadn't made any mistakes, but she blamed that on the amount of time she spent doing her job- she was fairly certain she could do it in her sleep. She turned back to the counter to serve the next customer. "What can I get you?" She asked, taking out the pad of paper from her pocket. There was a brief pause, which made her look up, then she realised who she was looking at.

She was about to ask him how he'd found her, and possibly accuse him of stalking her, when she realised she'd told him where she worked. That wasn't her smartest move, she should have known he was going to show up. "I'll have a coffee please." He said, holding the money out to her. She thought she was going to get away without him saying anything to start with, that he'd just take his coffee and go. Then he held something out to her, a small white rectangle of card. "I want you to take this." He said as she looked at it warily. "It's my card. Please? Just incase you ever need anything." He said, smiling slightly as she took the small piece of card from him.

"Thanks." She mumbled, folding it up and putting it in to her pocket before moving on to serve the next customer. When she turned back around he'd gone. She was relieved in a way, that he wasn't going to try and convince her she'd made the wrong choice.

Voight didn't even acknowledge Jay as he got back into the car, just starting the engine and driving back to the precinct. He'd pulled up outside the diner, practically kicking Jay out of the car to go and get him a coffee. Jay had been confused to begin with, wondering why they'd gone so far out of their way for a coffee. Then he'd realised where they were and he hadn't protested, he wanted another opportunity to talk to Erin. He found himself wondering how Voight knew that was where she worked, he was sure he hadn't told him. There was something going on that Voight wasn't telling him, then again there was nothing new there. He was curious though, why Voight had such an interest in this girl.

"Spit it out Halstead." Voight said, glancing over at him. He could practically hear the younger man thinking, it was only a matter of time before he managed to pluck up the courage to ask the question.

"I was just wondering how you knew Erin?" He asked, looking over at his boss. Voight carried on staring at the road ahead, his hands tightening slightly around the steering wheel as Jay waited for an answer.

"She was my CI, along time ago, when she was a kid." He said, making it clear he wasn't going to offer any further explanation.

Jay was confused by the situation, if Voight knew her then why hadn't he tried to talk to her? Maybe he'd be able to convince her to let them help. "If you know her why don't you try talking to her about it?" He asked, it seemed like a logical solution to the problem as far as he was concerned. Erin clearly didn't trust him enough to tell him the truth, but she'd known Voight for years by the sounds of it, maybe she'd open up to him.

Voight exhaled loudly. "Trust me- she won't want to talk to me… And I wouldn't tell her you work for me either." He said as they pulled up at the precinct. Voight got out of the car and strode off, leaving Jay sat there puzzled. Something had clearly gone on between Voight and Erin, he just couldn't understand what. He got the feeling Voight wasn't going to explain either. He tried to shake the thoughts out of his head, the chances were he'd never find out.

Erin found herself walking home in the pouring rain at the end of her shift. The water was leaking in through the bottom of her shoes and she was absolutely freezing, not to mention totally exhausted. She mentally cursed herself for getting a job so far away from where she lived, she was going to be soaked by the time she walked home. She'd been walking for about five minutes when a car pulled up next to her and rolled the window down. "Let me drive you home?"

She recognised that voice straight away. She turned to look and sure enough, there he was. "Are you stalking me?" She asked him, but she couldn't hide the slight smile. He laughed quietly, shrugging his shoulders. She was about to tell him she was fine- it was an automatic reaction, then she realised she was exhausted and it would be nice not to have to walk all the way home.

She quickly climbed into the car, shivering slightly. "Thanks." She said quietly, staring out of the window.

"Anytime." He smiled, and she knew he meant it. He drove slowly, taking his time to get her home. He wasn't keen on the fact he was driving her home to that man. He turned on to her street when she suddenly spoke.

"Can you drop me here please?" She said and he looked at her, confused. She lived at the other end of the street. "I don't want Luke to see me getting out of a car." She said quietly, looking down at her hands. Jay shook his head slightly, it was ridiculous, that she was too scared to even let him drop her outside the front door. He didn't argue with her though, stopping the car as she requested. "Thanks." She said quietly, climbing out of the car and hurrying off down the street.

She was still soaked by the time she reached the door, despite the fact he'd driven her home. She unlocked the door quietly, hoping Luke would be asleep. It was wishful thinking, she was later than she said she'd be and she knew she'd be awake, waiting for her. "I'm home!" She called when she saw the lights were on, trying to make herself sound cheerful.

He looked up at her from his spot on the sofa. "Where have you been?" He asked, not even bothering to stand up.

"I was working Luke. I'm going to head to bed now though- I've got to start early in the morning." She replied, shrugging off her coat. She walked over to him, placing a quick kiss on his cheek as she stepped around him and headed in to the bedroom. She fell asleep instantly, the second her head hit the pillow. She didn't think she'd ever been so tired in her life and the pounding headache she'd had all day certainly hadn't helped.

Jay on the other hand, found himself laying in bed wide awake. It wasn't the case they were working on that was keeping him awake though, it was all the unanswered questions. He desperately wanted to ask Voight for the details of what had gone on, but he knew there was no way he was going to get an answer out of him. He felt slightly guilty about it, but he' looked up Erin's file earlier while he was finishing his paperwork. He knew he had no right to be snooping around, but he needed some answers. She'd got a minor record- possession, shoplifting- he hadn't really learnt much. That was what made it worse though, he still hadn't got any answers. He could hardly ask her either, and even if he could he doubted she'd tell him much. Instead, he found himself laying in bed, staring at his phone next to him, wondering if she'd call him or if she'd carry on trying to get through it on her own. He was guessing the latter, she didn't seem like she was going to be ready to ask for help any time soon.


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks to everyone who has read this story and left a review. Please let me know what you think._

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Chapter Four

Jay was struggling to stay focused on the case they were working. His mind kept wandering back to Erin, wondering if she was ok. She hadn't called him, but he didn't know if that was a good sign or not. He had a feeling she probably wouldn't call him anyway, even if something had happened. It was frustrating, the not knowing. Voight hadn't said anything else about it either, so he was clueless. He was just going to have to wait and see, and hope that she wouldn't try and do it all alone.

He was sat there, tapping his pen on absentmindedly on the edge of his desk when Platt came up the stairs. "Halstead!" She called from the top of the stairs, causing his head to snap up.

"Yeah?" He said, wondering what she wanted from him. He really had to finish his paperwork or he was going to end up there all night.

"There's a woman waiting for you downstairs? Her name is Erin?" She said, raising an eyebrow at him. He jumped to his feet quickly, following Platt back down the stairs.

He was expecting it to be a mistake, but there she was- standing awkwardly at the bottom of the stairs. She looked up and gave him a small smile as he walked towards her. "Hi… I'm sorry to just turn up like this… I just… Do you have a minute?" She said quickly. He could tell she was nervous.

"Of course, come on." He said, gesturing towards the stairs. He could see there was a bruise on her right cheek she'd tried to cover up, but he knew it wasn't a good idea to mention it. He ignored the look Platt was giving him from behind the desk. She was silent as they walked up the stairs, looking around nervously. She was starting to wonder if this had been such a good idea. Jay directed her in to the break room, closing the door behind them. The rest of the unit had gone out, leaving him behind to do the paperwork. He didn't know when they were coming back and he didn't really want anyone to interrupt.

"Coffee?" He asked, walking over to pour himself one. She nodded and gave him another small smile, eyes wandering around the room. A few minutes later he sat down opposite her at the table, placing a mug of coffee in front of her. He sat there for a few moments, waiting to see if she was going to talk. She'd obviously come there for a reason, it was just a case of waiting until she managed to find the courage to tell him. After a few minutes Jay decided to break the silence. "You know, if you were just after a coffee this probably wasn't the best place to come- it tastes awful!" He laughed, smiling as she finally looked up at him.

She took a sip of her coffee and pulled a face. "How do you drink this?!" She laughed and he just shrugged. There was another short silence before she finally spoke again. She thought she'd be able to do this, to tell him the truth. It had seemed simple when she thought about it, but sitting there in front of him she'd totally forgotten what she'd planned to say. She looked back up at him, realising she wasn't going to find the answers at the bottom of an awful tasting coffee. She just didn't know where to begin with explaining any of it to him, how on earth was he even going to begin to understand any of it? "Promise me you aren't going to judge me?" She whispered, catching him off guard. He hadn't been expecting her to say that.

"I promise." He said quietly, watching her intently. She was staring back down at the table, drumming her fingers nervously on the table. She didn't know how she'd ended up coming to the conclusion it would be a good idea to talk to him about it. She never talked about her and Luke, not with anyone. She was really struggling to find the words to say what she needed to say.

"I was eighteen when I met Luke." She started, drawing in a shaky breath. She knew it was going to be difficult to hold herself together while she told him. "I'd just left school- thought I was finally going to have a chance to do something with my life. He was the first person who ever really gave a damn about me… He made me feel special, for the first time in my life I actually felt like someone cared…." She said, her voice fading to a whisper towards the end.

"What about your parents?" Jay asked, then panicked slightly. It had slipped out before he thought about it, he hadn't meant to say it out loud. "Sorry, you don't have to-" He started, but she shook her head and cut him off before he could finish.

"It's fine.." She said, running her fingers through her hair. "My Mom was a junkie… she only ever really cared about where her next fix was coming from… Occasionally she'd remember I existed, but it was pretty rare… She used to just disappear for days at a time- I never knew where she went…. And my Dad, well.." She let out a sarcastic laugh. "Well, by I don't know if I can even remember him being there- he's been in jail for as long as I can remember… One day my Mom just didn't come home, that was the last time I'd heard from her… There was no food on the table, I don't even know how I didn't end up homeless…. I used to go and steal bread from the store just so I'd have something to eat." She paused and looked up at him, wondering if he was going to think of her any differently.

She looked down, his hand had subconsciously found its way across the table while she was talking, and was resting gently over her own. She looked up and tried to give him a small smile before she continued. "I got in with the wrong people.. doing a lot of things I'm not proud of… I didn't have a choice at the time- I needed the money. I got arrested a few times… Then I met Luke, he was supposed to be my fresh start, my chance to turn my life around and not end up like my Mom-" She stopped abruptly as the door to the break room opened.

Jay's head snapped around to see who it was, he'd been so focused on what Erin was saying he'd totally forgotten the others could be back at any minute. He groaned internally as he found Voight stood in the doorway, his eyes locked on Erin. He turned back to Erin to find her staring back at Voight, the expression on her face unreadable. The few seconds silence felt like an eternity as Jay waited to see what was going to happen. He'd figured that whatever had gone on between Erin and Voight couldn't have been good if Voight didn't want her to know Jay worked for him. Eventually, Erin composed herself. "I should go." She said quickly, standing up. "I'm sorry. This was a mistake." She said, spinning around to the door, which Voight was still blocking.

"Erin-" Voight started but she cut him off.

"I don't want to hear it. Get out of my way." She growled, shoving past him roughly, with Jay close behind her.

"Erin!" He called several times, running down the stairs to try and catch up with her. After he called her name for the fourth time she spun around to face him.

"Stay away from me." She said coldly, spinning around again and storming out, nearly knocking several other people over on her way out. Jay was left stood by the door wondering what on earth had happened. He'd thought they were finally getting somewhere. He was going to have to ask Voight what had gone on between him and Erin- her reaction just didn't make sense.

He walked slowly back up the steps to intelligence, feeling a little defeated. He'd been so hopeful when Erin had turned up, thinking maybe they were finally getting somewhere. He couldn't help but wonder what Erin might have told him if Voight hadn't walked in. As he reached the top of the stairs he walked straight in to Voight's office, shutting the door behind him. He sat down opposite Voight and looked at him for a moment. "You're going to have to tell me what happened- I don't understand." He said, looking at him questioningly.

Voight sighed and stopped typing, looking up at Halstead. "I can't even remember how old she was when I met her- couldn't have been more than thirteen. She was always in trouble- little things like shoplifting, that kind of thing. As she got older the things she was getting involved with just kept getting worse and worse. She got involved with this group of guys, selling drugs and that kind of thing. Our paths kept crossing, she was like a magnet for trouble. You could pretty much guarantee that if something had gone on in that area, Erin would have been there or been involved somehow." He paused and smiled slightly before he continued.

"I used to give her money in exchange for information about people. She always needed the money for food, rent and I guess later on for drugs. When she was sixteen, she rang me one night, crying down the phone. I went and picked her up that night- took her back to my house. I still don't know what happened that night, she never would talk about it. She ended up staying with us until she finished school, my wife and I never had it in us to talk to her about moving out, she'd been through so much already…. She moved to a new school, got her away from the people she'd grown up with. She got clean and got her head down at school. She was going to go the police academy." He shook his head slightly. "Then she met this guy, and there was just something about him- my wife and I both saw it. We tried to talk to Erin about it a couple of times but she wouldn't listen. She'd get so angry if anyone tried to bring it up, so we just left it- we figured she'd get bored with him and move on soon enough. Then a few months later I got a phone call from my wife, she was hysterical. She'd come home and there was a note on the table from Erin. 'I'm sorry. Thanks for everything.' That was all it said. We went out and looked for her that night, but we couldn't find her. We meant to keep looking, we said we wouldn't give up, but that was around the time Justin started getting in to trouble… Then my wife got sick. and we…. Well- I suppose it's my fault she's still with him now. I had the chance to stop this and I didn't."

Halstead sat there silently for quite a while. He just didn't know what to say, he hadn't been expecting that. He was trying desperately to think of something to say. A part of him was angry with Voight, thinking that he should have tried harder to find Erin- that he should have stopped her. The rest of him felt sorry for Voight, he was clearly being hard on himself for the fact he'd let Erin leave all those years ago. "I'll find her." He said eventually, standing up and walking out of Voight's office. He was going to need a few minutes to process everything he'd just been told, to work out what he was going to do. Erin was clearly still holding a grudge against Voight for some reason. He wanted to hear her side of the story, to find out why she'd run off with Luke. He just had a feeling it wasn't going to be easy to get her to tell him.

He walked out of the precinct, shivering slightly as he felt the freezing cold air hit him. He carried on walking, hoping the fresh air would help him think more clearly. There were so many unanswered questions, things he wanted Erin to explain. When she'd spoken to him earlier she'd totally skipped the whole portion of her life that included Voight- as though the whole thing had just been totally erased.

As he walked, he realised he was subconsciously walking in the direction of the diner Erin worked at. He started to wonder if it was pushing it too far, trying to talk to her twice in one day, but she'd been so ready to talk to him earlier he decided it was worth a try.

He spotted her straight away as he walked in, standing behind the counter looking down at something. He slid in to the seat directly opposite her, waiting for her to look up. It took a few seconds, but eventually she realised someone was there. "What-" She started, only to stop again when she looked up at him. "Why are you here?" She said, lowering her voice as she looked around. It was a quiet afternoon and Jay was one of only two customers in there. Erin could see the other waitress looking at them both and she really didn't want everyone knowing.

"I thought maybe we could finish our conversation from earlier?" He said, giving her a small smile. She shook her head before he'd even finished his sentence. "I thought you might say that- but I think you should probably know, Voight told me." He said, raising an eyebrow at her.

Erin sighed quietly, she should've known Voight wouldn't be able to help himself. "Wait here." She muttered, turning and walking away. Jay sat and watched as she walked over to the other waitress, having a quiet conversation with her for a few minutes before she walked back towards Jay. "Let's go." She said, taking off her apron and putting on her coat, following him towards the door. Jay jumped up from the stool he was sat on, slightly shocked. He'd been expecting her to scream at him for not telling her he worked with Voight. It had been much easier than he expected.

They walked along the street together in silence for a while before Jay finally spoke. "My apartment is just there if you wanted to have a coffee while we talk?" He asked hesitantly, not sure if she'd agree or not.

She hesitated for a couple of seconds, before she nodded. As far as Luke was concerned she was working all day so she had time. "Ok." She smiled, following him up the street towards his apartment. She was relieved when they got inside, it had been freezing cold outside and she was hardly dressed for the weather.

"I'll go make the coffee." Jay smiled, heading towards the kitchen. Erin trailed behind him nervously, not really knowing what to do with herself. She hadn't been to someone elses house for so long, only really leaving their apartment to go to work. "I'll warn you- this isn't much better than the coffee at the precinct! In fact it's probably worse…" Jay laughed as he poured it into the two mugs he'd got out.

Erin let out a small laugh as she watched him. "Surely you can't be that hopeless?" She laughed, raising an eyebrow at him. "Thanks." She said, taking the mug from him as he shrugged slightly, then gestured to the sofa.

They sat at either end of the sofa, each waiting for the other to speak. Erin took a sip of her coffee, pulling a face. "You're right- this is nasty!" She laughed as he pretended to be offended but eventually started laughing.

"How much did Voight tell you?" She asked him once the laughter had stopped. She was curious to hear what Voight had said.

"He told me about him and his wife taking you in… About you leaving a note and running away with Luke…. But I'd like to hear your side of it too." Jay said quietly, taking another sip of his coffee.

Erin gave him a small smile before she spoke. "I'm not proud of what I did…. I've regretted it every single day for the past eight years. At the time it seemed like the right thing to do… I thought Luke loved me…." she whispered as Jay nodded in understanding. "I've still got the card that Voight gave me when I was a teenager…. You wouldn't believe the amount of times I've thought about calling him and asking him for help…. I've called a couple of times and hung up before he answered…. I just couldn't face it…. He must be so disappointed in me." She said, the tears spilling down her cheeks.

Jay moved across the sofa, closing the gap between them. He hesitantly reached out and put an arm around her, not knowing if he was going to make things worse. As he gently put his arm around her she turned her face in to his shoulder and he pulled her closer. "He's not disappointed in you Erin, believe me. He's worried about you- we both are." He said quietly. He didn't get any response from her, so he just sat there and held her tightly as she cried, finally letting out the emotions she'd been bottling up for years.


	5. Chapter 5

_Hi Guys, sorry for the delay. I really struggled with writing this chapter and I'm still not sure I'm totally happy with it. I've re written it five or six times so I've decided just to leave it as it is for the moment. Sorry if it sucks!_

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Chapter Five

It took a few minutes for Erin to regain her composure, pulling awkwardly away from Jay and wiping her hand roughly across her eyes. She looked up at Jay and felt her face flush slightly. "Sorry… I should go.." She said, getting to her feet. She was embarrassed, she hardly knew him and she'd just sat there and cried in front of him.

Jay got to his feet too, putting his hand on her arm to try and stop her. "You don't have to.." He said, his hand still wrapped around her arm. He was hopeful for a few seconds that she might stay, then she pulled her arm away from him and opened the door.

"Thanks for the coffee." She said, stepping out of his apartment and shutting the door behind her. Once she got outside she kept her head down, walking as quickly as she could. She wasn't sure if Jay was going to try and follow her or not, so she wanted to get away before he had a chance.

He didn't go after her though, knowing there was very little point. She wasn't going to tell him anything else. It was frustrating, he felt like he was getting so close, only for her to totally shut him out all over again. He didn't see how they were ever going to get anywhere if Erin continued to deny that there was a problem.

It didn't take Erin long to get back home, she'd walked quicker than normal trying to get home before it started snowing again. She paused at the bottom of the stairs, trying to make herself smile before she went up to Luke. It felt like such a false smile, but she still forced herself to. He'd know something was going on if not- she didn't want him knowing she'd seen Voight again. He'd go nuts if he found out, him and Voight had never got along.

"Luke? I'm home!" She called, walking in to the apartment. She kicked off her shoes, putting them on the radiator to dry and hung up her jacket. "Luke?" She called again, slightly confused. She'd been expecting to find him on the sofa drinking, where he always was. She was about to call out again when his head poked out of the kitchen.

"Oh good! You're home! Food's ready." He smiled, walking out the kitchen with two plates of pasta.

It took Erin a moment to find her words- having dinner cooked for her was the last thing she'd been expecting. "Thanks! This looks great.." She said, sitting down opposite him. It was the moments like those that confused her, stopped her just packing her bags and leaving him. Every once in a while she'd get a glimpse of the old Luke, the man she'd fallen in love with. It gave her hope that maybe things would get better, that she could get the life she'd imagined for them both.

They were sat there, chatting quietly while they ate when Erin's phone started to ring- interrupting the conversation. She pulled it out of her pocket, trying to hide her frown as she recognised the number on the screen. She ended the call, putting her phone back in her pocket. There was no way she was going to answer that call, especially not while she was sat with Luke. "Who was that?" Luke asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

Erin felt her cheeks flush slightly. She'd never been a good liar. "Oh, it's just work… It can wait.." She said, taking another mouthful of her pasta, trying to think of a way to change the subject. She was relieved when Luke didn't ask any more questions. She was about to ask him about his day when her phone rang again. She ended the call again, putting her phone on the table.

The third time her phone rang Luke's hand came across the table and grabbed it before she even had a chance to react. "No Luke don't-" She started, but was too late. He'd already answered the phone. She held her breath, waiting for him to realise who was on the end of the phone. She felt her stomach start to knot, watching the expression on his face change.

Luke didn't speak into the phone, he just held it to his ear and looked up at Erin. She could still hear Voight's voice on the other end of the phone as she spoke. "Luke…" She started, but she stopped quickly, ducking as he threw her phone across the room.

"Why is he calling you?" He demanded, standing up from the table and coming towards her.

Erin cringed back into the chair. She couldn't believe Voight, all the times she'd actually wanted his help, the one time she didn't need it he had to cause a problem. "I don't know Luke… I haven't seen him since I left!" She lied, hoping he'd believe her. If he found out she'd been at the police station he was going to go nuts.

Luke stood over her for a moment, glaring down at her. "Don't lie to me!" He yelled, grabbing her by the hair and pulling her roughly out of her chair.

Erin cried out as her body slammed into the wall, leaving her trapped. "Please! Luke… I promise-" She started, but she was cut off as Luke's hand went around her neck. She started trying to fight him off, despite the fact she knew it was pointless.

Luke gave a dry laugh, pushing her tighter up against the wall. "I don't believe you… I bet the whole time you've been telling me you've been working you've been sneaking out to see him!" He yelled, getting right in her face.

Erin flinched, trying to move further away from him but she hadn't got anywhere to go. She flinched as his hand came up, closing her eyes. Seconds later she felt the sting as he slapped her across the face. "Did you really think I was so stupid that I wouldn't find out?!" He yelled again. "I suppose you've been telling him all about this- about what a bad person I am.. None of this is my fault though Erin- it's your fault!" He screamed at her, hitting her again.

Erin knew the neighbours could probably hear every word, they were pressed right up against the wall between the two apartments. She started to wonder if they'd called the cops, if someone was coming to rescue her. She'd never liked it when the cops started butting in, but at the moment in time she'd be grateful. She could usually manage to diffuse the situation but she knew Luke was beyond caring what she said.

She could feel his fingers tightening around her arm that he was holding, the fingers digging into the flesh. "Luke, please… I'm sorry." She whispered, trying to free her hand. As she twisted it to try and free it his grip became tighter.

"I don't care anymore!" He yelled, crushing Erin's hopes that he might have calmed down enough for her to be able to talk to him. She cringed back again as he raised his hand, only to fall to the floor with the force of the punch he hit her with. As she laid there on the floor she felt him kick her over and over again. She knew nothing she could say was going to have any effect, she'd just have to wait for him to decide he needed a drink- then he'd leave her.

She felt Luke stop though as the sound of splintering wood filled the apartment as the door was kicked open. She struggled to sit up, crying out in pain as her ribs protested. She managed to prop herself up against the wall, gasping for breath, just in time to see Voight grabbing hold of Luke, shoving him up against the other wall. "Erin?" She felt a hand on her shoulder, looking around to find Jay crouched down on the floor next to her. "Where are you hurt?" He asked, gently pushing her hair back to look at the cut on her forehead.

She pushed him away, getting slowly to her feet. "I'm fine. I don't need you to save me." She said, turning away from him. Her freshly healed ribs were in agony and she felt lightheaded, but she wasn't about to admit that to him. The last thing she needed was another trip to the hospital and she knew Jay would insist. Instead she leant against the wall, eyes closed and decided to ignore him.

Jay sighed and walked over to where Voight was. He'd been absolutely terrified when Voight had shown up at his house. All he'd said was Erin was in trouble and we needed to be quick. They could hear the argument from Voight's phone, which he could now see was still connected to Erin's, which was laying on the floor in the corner. They'd run up the stairs and busted down the door to find Luke standing over Erin who was laying on the floor. It was like deja vu for Jay, seeing her laying on the floor like that.

Jay put a hand on Voight's shoulder, pulling him away from Luke. He knew if he left Voight alone with the guy they'd be dealing with a murder. He had to admit though, it was tempting to let Voight drag him off to the docks, but he knew Erin would never forgive them. He shoved Luke roughly towards the door, handing him off to one of the uniformed cops who'd arrived shortly after him and Voight. As much as he would've loved to get some payback he was more concerned about Erin.

He walked quickly back into the apartment and over to where Erin was leaning against the wall. Her eyes snapped open as he leant quietly against the wall beside her. Neither of them really knew what to say. Erin was quietly thankful that Jay and Voight had shown up when they had, but at the same time she was furious. If they hadn't been interfering then she wouldn't have needed help in the first place. After a few minutes Jay spoke. "We should probably take you to the hospital." He said quietly, looking over at Erin.

As he'd predicted, she shook her head before he even had a chance to finish his sentence. "No way. I'm fine." She said, knowing full well she was lying and he wouldn't believe her. He raised an eyebrow at her and she shook her head again. "I'm fine. You can go now." She said, gesturing towards the door.

Jay sighed quietly. "We're going to need to take your statement before we go anywhere." He said, waiting for her reaction.

Erin glared back at him. "It's not happening." She said coldly. "So you might as well just leave now." She added, waving in the direction of the door again.

Jay didn't speak again, watching as Voight approached. He knew Voight wouldn't take no for an answer, even if Erin wasn't going to give a statement there was no way he was going to let her stay there on her own. "You aren't staying here on your own." Voight said firmly. Jay watched as Erun opened her mouth to speak, only to get cut off by Voight. "No, you either go to the hospital or you come with one of us." He said, looking at Jay who nodded.

Erin glared at them both, then turned back to Voight."I think you're the one who hit your head if you think I'm going _anywhere _with you!" She said, pushing past him and walking towards the door. Jay turned and looked at Voight, who shook his head, before following after her.

Much to his relief she hadn't gone far and he found her waiting beside his car. "I'm only agreeing to this because if not Voight is going to drag me to his and I swear to God I might actually kill him." She said, sliding in to the passenger seat. Jay didn't say anything, although he was wondering what Erin had against Voight. Yes, he could understand how they'd lost touch- it just didn't explain why she was so angry with him. "Where are we going then?" She asked him, looking out of the window.

"Well, I can take you to the hospital, or I guess you can have my spare room." Jay said awkwardly. He knew she wouldn't be happy about either option.

She turned to face him, and he could tell she wasn't happy. "You know I have a perfectly good bed up there right?" She said, pointing in the direction of her apartment. Jay just shrugged, they both knew that there was no way Voight was going to let her stay there on her own. Jay was glad he wouldn't, without Erin pressing charges against Luke he'd be released in a matter of hours and Jay didn't want her anywhere near that man. Erin rolled her eyes dramatically as he started the car. "I'm not going to the hospital so I guess it's going to have to be your spare room- I'm going home first thing tomorrow." She said, turning back to look out of the window. Jay smiled to himself slightly as he started to drive home, at least she was letting him help her this time. He just needed to find a way to convince her not to go home in the morning.


	6. Chapter 6

_Hi Guys, thanks for sticking with me so far! Sorry this chapter is a little shorter than the others, I needed to set it up ready for what's going to happen next- enjoy and please leave a review!_

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Chapter Six

"Make yourself at home." Jay said, letting them both into his apartment. Erin turned back to him and raised an eyebrow before walking over to sit on the sofa. "I know you don't want to be here, but you had the choice of going with Voight." He said, going in to the kitchen to make them both a coffee.

He turned around again to find Erin stood behind him, leaning on the kitchen counter. "Yeah well, that was never going to happen." She said dryly, reaching out to take the coffee from him. Jay frowned slightly, he couldn't understand what was going on between Voight and Erin, why she was so determined not to forgive him. She spoke again before he had a chance to ask her. "I'm just going to go to bed.." She said, looking around.

Jay realised she was asking where his spare room was. "Oh yeah, sure.. It's the second door on the left." He said, pointing in the direction of the hall. Erin nodded, before turning and walking out of the kitchen leaving Jay stood there alone. He'd been hoping they'd have a chance to talk, that maybe he might be able to change her mind about giving a statement. Clearly she wasn't going to give him the chance.

Once she got to the bedroom Erin sat down on the bed and put her head in her hands. She could feel the tears she'd been holding in running down her cheeks. As much as she tried to convince herself it was fine, that Luke didn't mean too, she couldn't help but wonder what might have happened if Voight and Jay hadn't turned up when they did. She tried to shake the thought from her head, she didn't even want to think about what would've happened.

Sitting up, she wiped the tears from her face, smiling as she saw the little pile of clothes Jay had left folded up on the edge of the bed for her to sleep in. She picked them up and walked across the hall to the bathroom to wash her face. As she stood in the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror she hardly recognised herself. she'd got two large bruises around each eye, dried blood just below her hairline on her forehead and a swollen lip. She winced as she started trying to wash the blood off her forehead. She knew she'd been lucky to get away without being seriously injured.

She heard the bathroom door creak open, then caught sight of Jay in the mirror. "Sorry." he said. "I didn't realise you were in here."

Erin quickly pulled the top he'd lent her down over her head. She could see him looking at the trail of bruises that covered her back and sides. "It's fine. I'm done." She said shortly, pushing past him quickly and going back to the bedroom.

A few moments later there was a quiet knock at the door. "Erin?" She could hear Jay's voice from the other side of the door.

She sighed quietly, knowing what was coming. "Yeah?" She called back, watching as he slowly opened the door.

Jay gave her a small smile, walking over to sit on the edge of the bed. "I just wanted to check you were ok?" He said, looking up at her. It made him feel slightly sick, the way the bruises on her face contrasted with the white bed sheets. Erin just shrugged. She wasn't ok, she hadn't been for a long time. "You can talk to me, you know. I'm not going to tell anyone." He said quietly, watching as she tried to avoid meeting his eye.

"What is there to talk about?" She asked, pulling the bed sheets up around her. She was conscious of the fact the shirt he'd given her didn't really cover the bruises on her arms. Jay didn't say anything, just sitting there silently and waiting for her to talk. He'd learnt from experience that trying to force information out of Erin just didn't work. Instead he just scooted further up the bed, laying next to her.

"He doesn't mean too." She said quietly, knowing full well she sounded like a broken record. If she said it enough times she could start to believe it. "He just gets so angry all the time, about the most stupid little things" She said, finally looking up at Jay.

He nodded. "You can't carry on like this Erin." He said slowly, wondering if she was going to get angry with him. He held his breath, waiting for her to speak.

She drew in a shaky breath, trying to hold herself together. "I know." She whispered, so quietly he barely heard her. "But I can't imagine my life without him… I've never really known any different." She said, wiping away a tear from her cheek. It was the first time she'd been truly honest about why she hadn't left him. She was afraid of being on her own. The last time she'd been on her own was before she'd met Voight, and she'd hardly done a good job of looking after herself then. "I don't want to be on my own."

"You're not on your own Erin. You've got me, Voight-"

Erin's laugh cut him off. "I don't want or need Voight's help." She said, shaking her head. It was Voight's fault she was in this situation.

"What happened between you two?" Jay asked hesitantly. There was clearly more to the story than Voight had told him for Erin to still be so angry.

Erin was quiet for a moment before she looked at Jay. "Six months ago, I had a massive row with Luke….I don't think he meant to, but.." She paused and rolled up the top, revealing a small scar running along the left side of her stomach. "I rang Voight from the hospital, begged him for his help. I asked him to lend me some money, to help me get out of town, as far away from Luke as possible. He stood there, and basically accused me of lying to him to try and get him to give me money for drugs. He walked away and left me there, and I ended up going home with Luke." She said, looking down as she finished.

Jay was struggling to control his anger. He'd love nothing more than to go and get Voight and get rid of Luke once and for all. He took a couple of deep breaths before he spoke, trying to get control of his anger. "Why didn't you tell someone? The doctor? The police? Anyone?" Jay said, he was horrified at the fact she just went home with that guy after that.

Erin shrugged. "He'd told all the doctors he'd found me like that when he came home, that I'd probably fallen- Then he promised me it wouldn't happen again, that we'd go somewhere else and start over. I believed him, just like I always do." She said, her voice fading to a whisper towards the end as she tried to fight back her tears.

"He put you in the hospital Erin!" Jay said, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Twice!"

"He didn't mean to!" She said, shaking her head. She wasn't about to tell him it had happened more than twice.

Jay snorted quietly. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. After all that had happened she was still trying to defend him. "You and I both know that's a load of crap Erin. Why are you still defending him?" He asked, looking at her seriously. He still couldn't wrap his head around what she'd just told him. As for Voight, he was furious, he'd had the chance to help Erin six months ago and he'd left her there.

"Because he's all I've got." Erin whispered, looking down at her hands. "I gave up everything to be with him Jay. All my dreams, my family- or at least the people I called my family- my friends.. Everything. Luke is all I have left." She choked out, wiping the tears away from her face again.

Jay could feel his heart breaking for her, how she'd become so stuck she couldn't see any way out of the situation she was in. He slowly reached out, putting an arm around her and pulling her closer to him. "It's going to be ok." He whispered as she turned her face in to his chest and let out all the tears she'd been desperately trying to hold in. "It's going to be ok." He said again, not knowing if it was for Erin's benefit or his own. He desperately needed to believe there was a way out for her somewhere. He couldn't face the thought of her going back to Luke in the morning.

He sat there with her for a while, rubbing circles soothingly on to her back while she cried into his shirt. Eventually he heard her breathing even out and figured she'd probably fallen asleep. She'd looked absolutely exhausted when they'd got to his earlier so it was hardly surprising. He slowly tried to pull away from her, figuring he'd leave her to sleep. As he started to move her fingers tightened in his shirt. "Don't leave me." She mumbled, pulling him back towards her. Jay slowly laid back down on the bed beside her, wondering how on earth he was going to let her go back to that monster in the morning.


	7. Chapter 7

_Sorry for the delay- I'm still struggling a little with writing this. Thanks to anyone who's bothered to stick with me this far!_

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Chapter Seven

Jay woke up again only a couple of hours later to find the bed beside him empty. It took him a few moments to realise why he was in his spare room, then he felt the panic set in. If Erin had snuck out during the night Voight was going to kill him. He didn't even want to think about the possibility that she might have snuck out and gone back to Luke. He'd thought they'd made some progress, that she was opening up to him, he wasn't so sure anymore.

He'd been about to start frantically searching for his car keys to go and find her when he'd spotted her silhouette, leaning against the window and looking out over the city. He let out a quiet sigh of relief, slowly walking towards her. "Erin?" He said softly, trying not to frighten her.

She flinched slightly as he came up behind her, quickly brushing the tears off her face. She took a deep breath, trying to make her voice sound normal. "Sorry, I couldn't sleep." She said, still staring out of the window. She was afraid if she turned to face him he'd be able to see everything that was going on in her head and she didn't want to have to talk about it.

Jay took another step closer, standing next to her and looking out of the window. He could see from her reflection that she'd been crying- her eyes were red and he could tell there was a little too much moisture in them still. He stood there for a moment, wondering what to say. He couldn't even begin to imagine the situation Erin was in, how was he supposed to understand?

After a few moments silence Erin spoke quietly. "Why does it have to be so hard?" She whispered, more to herself than to Jay.

Jay didn't know what to say to her. Everything he could think of just sounded so cliched and false. "I don't know." He said eventually. He could see where she was coming from, he'd seen so many things during his time as a cop- things he didn't think he'd ever be able to make sense of. He shook his head slightly, trying to shake the thoughts away. He didn't need to relive all of that again.

Erin turned to look at him, giving him a tiny smile. "Thank you… For sticking with me, for trying to help." She said quietly, looking down at the floor. "I'll be out of your way tomorrow."

Jay frowned. "Where are you going to go?" He asked. He knew she had no idea where either of her parents were, so that wasn't an option. He held his breath, waiting for her answer- praying she wasn't going back to Luke.

She shrugged, turning back to the window. "I honestly don't know. I can't stay here though, that's for sure." She said, running her fingers through her hair. She knew if she stayed in Chicago she'd end up back with Luke. It was only a matter of time. If she was really going to leave then she needed a clean break. It was the only way it was going to work.

"You can't just get on a bus and hope it's ok." Jay said, knowing Voight wasn't going to like it either.

"Well I can't stay here!" Erin said. "We both know he'll find me." She added quietly.

Jay thought for a moment. "You know, if you'd help us put him in jail that wouldn't be a problem.." He said, watching her face carefully in the reflection.

Erin exhaled loudly. She should have seen that one coming. "I can't Jay. I'd have to testify, and I don't want everyone looking at me like I'm some kind of victim. I'll just leave, start again."

"Wherever you go Erin, there's always that chance he might find you. You can't live the rest of your life looking over your shoulder!" Jay said, his voice getting louder. As relieved as he was that she didn't seem to plan on going back to Luke, he hated the idea of her running away and spending the rest of her life hiding even more.

Erin sighed quietly, walking over to sit on the sofa. "I've spent most of my life hiding from one thing or another. This really isn't going to make much difference." She said, rubbing her forehead gently. Her headache was starting to come back with avengence.

"So don't do it anymore." Jay said, sitting on the arm of the sofa next to her.

Erin couldn't help but laugh quietly. "You know, for a cop who spends all day dealing with the bad in the world, you have a really idealistic view of the world." She said, looking up at him.

Jay smiled down at her, shrugging slightly. "You've gotta believe it's going to be ok sometimes- I couldn't do my job if I didn't have that little bit of hope."

Erin shook her head. "It's that little bit of hope that got me where I am now." She said, gesturing to the bruises that covered her body. Jay raised an eyebrow curiously. "I managed to convince myself that one day Luke would change." She continued. "I had that little bit of hope, that he'd be the man that I fell in love with again. That bit of hope is what made me go back to him over and over again."

"What's changed this time?" Jay asked, the question slipping out before he had a chance to stop it.

Erin was quiet for a moment, trying to work out what it was that had changed. "I've had my eyes opened- if you and Voight hadn't turned up he could've killed me. I can't spend the rest of my life living in fear." She said, looking up and meeting his eyes.

Jay could see the tears welling in her eyes. It seemed so final once she'd said it out loud. Even after all Luke had done, she still couldn't deny the fact she loved him- a little part of her probably always would.

Jay reached out and gently put an arm around her, pulling her closer and holding her tightly. "If you really want to get away from here then let me help you." He said quietly. It pained him to think about her leaving and not coming back, but if that was what she really wanted then he'd help her.

Erin rested her head gently on his shoulder. "Thank you." She whispered. "For everything."

Jay didn't say anything, just sitting there quietly next to her. After a couple of minutes he caught sight of the clock hanging on the wall and groaned.

Erin laughed as he pushed himself up off the sofa. "What?" She asked as he headed towards the kitchen.

"It's time to get ready for work!" He laughed, starting to make coffee. He was exhausted, the result of hardly having slept- it was going to be a long day.

"Can I come with you? I don't want to be on my own-" Erin said quietly, walking in to the kitchen behind him.

Jay paused for a second. "You do know Voight's going to be there?" He asked, surprised she wanted to be in the same place as Voight all day.

Erin nodded. "I know- as much as I'd like to be able to blame him for all the crap in my life I can't really…" She said, taking a mug of coffee from Jay.

He smiled at her. "As long as you promise you're not secretly plotting to kill Voight then of course you can!" He smiled "But I really have to get ready or we're going to be late!" He said as he quickly drank the rest of his coffee.

It didn't take him long to get ready, when he came back out Erin was sat on the kitchen counter waiting for him. She'd changed in to her jeans and one of Jay's old shirts since she didn't have any of her own clothes. "Sorry- I didn't have anything else.." She said, her face flushing slightly as he looked at her.

"I don't mind." He smiled, handing her coat to her. "Let's go then!" He said, holding the door open for her. She smiled a thanks at him, heading out of the door and down to his car.

It was a quiet journey to the precinct, Erin was lost in thought as she stared out the window. She was apprehensive about spending a day with Voight to say the least. She knew deep down she couldn't hold a grudge against him forever, that what had happened wasn't his fault. Given her history, he'd made a logical conclusion, but it didn't stop it hurting any less that he'd thought she'd turned back to drugs. She knew that she should explain to him the reason why she'd left all those years ago, why she hadn't come back, but she didn't want to think back over that part of her life, over what could have been if she'd chosen differently somewhere along the line.

She was still staring out of the window when Jay parked up outside. "You sure about this?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her questioningly.

She gave him a small smile. "Yeah." She said, trying to make it sound convincing. She needed to talk to Voight, to make peace with him before she left. She tried to convince herself she could do it, that it would all work out ok in the end. The thought of leaving Chicago was still making her feel slightly sick. Her whole life was in the city and the thought of starting all over again alone was scarier than she could ever have imagined.

They walked quickly up the stairs to intelligence, Jay saying a quick hello to Sargent Platt on the way. Erin flashed her a small smile as she hurried along behind Jay. They came to an abrupt halt at the top of the stairs nearly crashing in to Voight. "Halstead- Wait… Why is Erin here?" Voight asked, looking over Jay's shoulder at Erin who was hiding behind him.

"She didn't want to be left on her own." Jay said, frowning at Voight. He couldn't understand why he was being so rude. "I didn't think you'd mind."

Voight sighed. "I don't but there is a slight problem." He said, before turning to face Erin. "Why don't you wait in my office?" He said, gesturing towards the door.

Erin looked at them both before turning and slowly walking towards Voight's office. "What is going on?" Jay hissed as soon as she was out of earshot.

Voight pointed down the hall to the interrogation room. "He's here." He said, following Jay down the hall.

When they opened the door to the observation room Jay immediately caught on. Luke was sat in there, opposite Antonio glaring at him furiously. "I didn't think you'd be able to hold him?" Jay asked, turning back to Voight.

"We couldn't- then he decided to take a couple of swings at Antonio and Ruzek on his way out- now we can get him for assaulting a police officer even if Erin won't cooperate." Voight said, looking back through the glass.

Jay sighed quietly. "She's leaving." He said, watching as Antonio started talking again.

"What? Where is she going?!" Voight demanded.

Jay could hear in his voice he wasn't happy, Jay wasn't happy about it either. "I don't know. I don't think she does either. She says she wants a fresh start, somewhere new." He said, shrugging.

Voight was quiet for a few moments. "Over my dead body." He muttered quietly, turning abruptly and walking out of the door.

Jay hesitated, wondering if he should follow after him or not. The last thing Erin needed was an argument with Voight, but on the other hand he was hoping Voight might be able to convince her to stay. After a couple of minutes he started walking slowly down the hall back towards Voight's office. He was expecting to hear shouting before he'd got anywhere near. The silence was worrying- he'd got no idea if it was a good sign or not. He slowly peered around the corner, just in time for Erin to come storming out of Voight's office. "Where is Luke?" She demanded. "I want to talk to him."


	8. Chapter 8

_Once again, thanks for reading. All your reviews are greatly appreciated. _

_To the person who asked if this was going to end in Linstead, to be perfectly honest with you I'm not entirely sure myself yet. It may well do I don't know. Erin's got a lot of things left to deal with and sort out so she's certainly not going to be jumping in to a relationship with Jay straight away. Maybe one day!_

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Chapter Eight

Erin stood there in front of him, hands on her hips, waiting for an answer. Jay didn't know what to say to her. What could she possibly have left to say to the guy? A part of him wondered if it might be good for her, to see him one last time. Another part of him was worried that given the opportunity she could be persuaded to forgive Luke. They guy was clearly a master at convincing her it was her own fault. He didn't want her to end up blaming herself for something that wasn't her fault. After a few seconds that felt like an eternity he shook his head. "It's not going to happen." He said firmly, nodding at Voight who was stood behind Erin.

"It's not a good idea Erin. You know that." Voight added.

Erin didn't say anything to start with, just staring over Jay's shoulder and down the hallway. She sighed quietly, shrugging slightly. Jay and Voight visibly relaxed, thinking that for the first time in her life Erin Lindsay was going to do as she was told. After a few seconds she looked up at Jay, meeting his eyes. "I need to do this." She said quietly. "Please?"

Jay tore his eyes away from hers, shooting a desperate look at Voight. The expression on Voight's face made it perfectly clear what his feelings were. Jay was torn, at least if Erin spoke to Luke there she'd be safe- he couldn't hurt her in an interrogation room. He had a feeling if not, Erin would probably end up sneaking out to see him at some point.

Erin took his silence as permission, not that she needed permission in the first place. She was going to talk to Luke regardless of what Jay and Voight said. She quickly stepped around Jay, before he could try and stop her and walked down the hallway to the interrogation room. She turned and looked over her shoulder as she put her hand on the door handle, expecting to find Jay and Voight right behind her. They weren't though, they were too busy arguing at the end of the hallway.

She took a deep breath before she walked into the room, starting to question why she wanted to see Luke, wondering if she was going to regret it. His head snapped up as she slowly pushed the door open, the surprise evident on his face as he looked at her. "Erin?" He breathed as she slowly sat down opposite him at the table. "I'm so sor-" He started, but Erin cut him off.

"Yeah I know, you always are!" She said sarcastically, rolling her eyes slightly. It was exactly the same every single time with Luke. It always would be. "Why Luke?" She asked quietly, looking down at her hands. It was the question she'd always wanted an answer to. "How did we end up like this?"

There was silence in the room, Erin eventually looking back up at him. Even through the tears that were forming in her eyes she could see Luke was a shadow of his former self. She'd built up an image in her mind, of him being so much more intimidating. Sat in that room with him though, she couldn't understand what had changed- how he'd become the man she'd been so afraid of.

Luke sighed quietly, looking up at her. "What do you want from me Erin? Isn't it enough that I'm probably going to jail because of you? What else do you want from me? You know, none of this would've happened if it weren't for you." He spat angrily, catching Erin off guard. She could see his fists clenching angrily. "I should've known you'd end up ruining my life! You're no better than that jUnkie mother of yours!" He continued, his voice rising angrily towards the end.

"I-" Erin started, only to be cut off.

"No! You go around, telling everyone it's all my fault, what a bad person I am… Take a look in the mirror you stupid-" He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence, the door to the interrogation room flying open.

"That is enough!" Voight yelled, walking quickly over to Luke. "Don't you _ever _talk to her again." He growled, roughly grabbing hold of Luke by his collar and looking around to Jay who nodded. As Jay turned back around he suddenly realised there was only the three of them in the room.

He felt his heart sink as he rushed out of the room. "Erin?" He yelled, running down the hallway. "Ruzek- Have you seen Erin?" He asked as he rushed past the younger detective.

"Nope.. Wait! Who?" Ruzek called, but Jay was already gone, running down the stairs.

"I'm such an idiot." He muttered to himself. "Platt? You seen the girl who came in with me this morning?" He asked, skidding to a halt at the desk. Platt shook her head and Jay cursed quietly. He was such an idiot. What was he thinking letting her go in there with Luke? He should have known it wouldn't end well. He quickly searched outside the precinct, hoping desperately that she'd just gone to get some air. There was no sign of her though, and he walked back inside dejectedly, finding Voight waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

"Where is she?" He demanded, looking towards the door.

"I don't know. I'm sorry I-" Jay started.

Voight glared at him angrily, cutting him off and grabbing him by the collar. "Oh you're sorry? Well of course, that just makes it all better doesn't it Halstead!" Voight yelled, the sarcasm dripping from his voice. "I swear to God, if anything happens to her.." He muttered quietly, releasing Jay and shoving him roughly away and walking quickly out of the door.

Jay stood there for a moment, trying desperately to think of places Erin might have gone. He decided to give her apartment a try, other than that he hadn't got a clue. It was worth a try, that's what he was trying to convince himself anyway. He drove there quickly, thankful he could remember exactly where it was. Then again, it was hardly surprising. He didn't think he'd ever be able to get the memories of her lying on the floor in a pool of blood out of his mind.

He raced up the stairs, nearly knocking a woman over on his way. He muttered a quick apology to the woman without stopping. "Please be in here." He muttered as he reached the apartment door. He was slightly surprised to find the door ajar. "Erin?" He called, stepping in to the apartment. He looked around quickly, checking there wasn't anyone in any of the rooms. It was empty. He'd only just missed her though, he could tell. The drawers in the wardrobe hanging open, clothes strewn across the floor. He had a quick check of the cupboards, nearly all of her things were gone. She'd been back to pack a bag. She was leaving and he had no idea where she was going.

Voight had sat in his car and thought long and hard. He knew Erin, better than Halstead ever would. She was practically his daughter and if anything happened to her because of Halstead's actions he was going to have serious trouble restraining himself. After a couple of minutes he'd decided to check the bus station. He just had a feeling, she'd always been a runner. He could vividly remember an argument him and Erin had while she was in highschool about her going to a party. They'd argued for a while, then Erin had stormed off to her bedroom and appeared ten minutes later with a bag. She'd announced she was leaving unless he'd let her go to the party. It made him laugh slightly, thinking back on it. He'd known she was going to be trouble, he just hadn't bargained on how much trouble she actually would be.

He walked quickly through the bus station, his eyes scanning every inch of it. He was about to give up and go elsewhere when he caught sight of a flash of blonde, sat on the steps. He slowly walked up behind her, trying to make sure it was actually her. Then he caught sight of the Chicago PD shirt of Halstead's she was wearing and quietly sighed in relief. He sped up a little, sitting down on the step next to her.

He could smell the alcohol on her breath as she turned around to face him, her eyes red and puffy from crying. He didn't say anything to begin with, just putting one arm around her gently, taking the bottle of whiskey from her with the other hand. "I think you've had enough." He muttered, noting the fact the bottle was half empty. "What's going on in your head kid?" He asked quietly, looking across at her.

Erin was quiet for a moment, trying to get control over her emotions. She started to talk a couple of times, only to stop again. She didn't know how to put what was going on in her head in to words.

Voight gave her a sad smile, deciding to fill the silence until she was ready to talk. "Do you remember the fight we had about that party?" He asked, seeing her nod he continued. "You said you were going to run away. Do you remember what I told you then?" He asked.

"That running away wasn't going to solve my problems."

He nodded. "It was true then and it's still true now kid. Getting on a bus to god knows where isn't going to help you deal with this. You need people who-"

She cut him off. "What's the point? Everyone I've ever cared about I've ended up hurting or messing things up for them somehow." She said bitterly, staring down at her feet.

"That's not-"

She cut him off again. "Don't try and deny it! My Mom turned to pills, my Dad well- we both know how that one went, you and your wife, Justin, Luke…" She hesitated. "It's me that's the problem." She whispered, the tears that had been gathering finally spilling down her cheeks. "You should've just left me where I belonged." She muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Voight asked, confused.

"You should've just left me there that night I called you, could've saved yourself so much trouble." She said, trying to shrug out from under Voight's arm.

"You're being ridiculous- you know that? I wouldn't go back and change any of it, I know my wife wouldn't either… The only thing I'd do differently is stop you running off with Luke." Voight said quietly, rubbing his hand over his face. He couldn't help but feel guilty about the direction Erin's life had taken. He should've stopped it when he had the chance.

"None of it's your fault…" She said quietly. "I was a mess, I am a mess. I thought he loved me…" She hesitated. "I didn't want to wait around for you to decide you didn't want me anymore." She whispered.

Voight inhaled sharply. "How could you ever think that? We were out looking for you for hours Erin, both of us… Then when she got sick and Justin started getting in trouble.." Voight paused.

"I went to see her." Erin said quietly, looking at Voight's shocked expression. "In the hospital, a couple of days before she died. I went to apologise."

Voight took a moment to absorb what she'd just said. "I thought she'd imagined it- she hardly knew who I was by the end. I never thought even for a minute…" He shook his head. "If I'd known you were still here I would've found you."

Erin shrugged. "I didn't want to be found- it's not your fault." She shivered slightly.

Voight stood up silently, holding out a hand to her. "Come on. We can finish this conversation somewhere warm." He said, pulling her to her feet. Erin nodded and smiled, walking back to his car with him carrying the bag she'd stuffed full of clothes. "I've missed you kid." Voight said quietly as they climbed into the car. He'd messed up with her once, he sure as hell wasn't about to do it again.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

It was weird for Erin, being back in Voight's house. She sat on the sofa, looking around as Voight made them both coffee. It was weird, the way that nothing had changed since the last time she'd been there. She felt as though she'd stepped back in time, like she was still in high school. For a moment she could almost forget everything that had happened. It was only a moment though, she knew she'd probably never entirely get over what had happened.

She stood up to look at the pictures that were above Voight's fireplace, running her fingers gently over the one in the centre. She could remember the day it had been taken despite the fact it felt like it had been taken in a different life time. She smiled fondly, thinking back. It wasn't long after the Voight's had taken her in, she couldn't believe how much younger she looked- so care free. They'd gone out together for her birthday, the first birthday she'd ever actually celebrated. The photo was of her, Voight and Justin. The three of them smiling happily into the camera.

She jumped as Voight walked up behind her quietly. "I remember that night." He smiled, looking over her shoulder at the photo.

Erin turned back to face him. "Thanks." She smiled, taking the coffee from him and gently placing the photo back. "It seems like such a long time ago."

"I know- a lot has happened since then." Voight said quietly, sitting down in the arm chair. "I'm sorry Erin." He added, looking at her.

Erin frowned slightly. "What do you mean you're sorry?" She couldn't understand what he was apologising for.

"I'm sorry for not finding you, for not helping you when you asked me to. I'm sorry I let this happen." Voight said looking down at his hands.

Erin shook her head. Was he really blaming himself for what had happened to her? It was her own decision to leave with Luke and her decision to forgive him time after time. "You can't blame yourself for this." She hesitated slightly as he looked up at her. "Of it wasn't for you I'd probably be in jail now, or maybe even dead." She shook her head slowly. "You saved me." She whispered, her eyes filling with tears.

Voight didn't know what to say. He still felt guilty, but he didn't want to get in to an argument with Erin about it. He watched as she put her head in her hands, desperately trying to get a handle on her emotions. He'd never quite been able to understand what was going on in her head, and even now he was clueless. He got up and sat down on the sofa next to her, gently putting an arm around her. "It's going to be ok kid." He said quietly as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"How can you say that?" Erin asked, her voice trembling slightly. "You can't possibly know it's all going to be ok- I thought everything was going to be ok with me and Luke!"

Voight sighed. "You need to press charges Erin." He said tentatively, knowing he was on thin ice with that subject. There was a long pause. "Erin?" He was starting to wonder if she'd fallen asleep.

"I can't." She whispered. "I'll have to give evidence... Tell a room full of strangers about the things he did to me... I can't do that." She continued the thought of it making her stomach knot anxiously. There was no way she could do that.

"I'm not going to lie and say it will be easy, but it's the right thing to do Erin... If you don't do something he could do this to someone else."

Erin thought for a moment. Voight was right, if she didn't do something to stop Luke there was nothing stopping him from hurting someone else. As much as she hated the idea of having to stand up in court, she didn't know if she could live with the guilt if Luke hurt someone else. She nodded slowly. "I'll try." She whispered.

* * *

Erin laid in bed at Voight's that night, staring at the familiar ceiling. It was an odd feeling, being back in that bedroom, as though she'd come full circle. She looked at the clock to her left, sighing as she saw it was only showing 1am. She was never going to be able to sleep, her mind was spinning thinking about the questions she was going to have to face the next day. The thought of having to revisit her relationship with Luke made her feel sick.

After spending a little longer tossing and turning she decided trying to sleep was pointless. She quickly got dressed, put on her coat and shoes and crept out of the door. She'd left a little note for Voight, stuck to the bedroom door, just incase he woke up before she came back. She didn't want him to panic and think she'd run away. She just needed a walk to clear her head. It was a little too much for her, being back at Voight's house again, it was like taking a step straight back in to her past.

She walked along aimlessly, the icy cold air helping to calm her down a little. She knew Voight was right, she couldn't let Luke get away with what he'd done to her, but it didn't help the fact she was still in love with Luke and the idea of sending him to jail just felt wrong. She didn't think anything would ever change that.

She hadn't even noticed the direction she was walking in until she found herself at Halstead's door, wondering how on earth she'd ended up there. She'd only meant to go for a quick walk around the block, but she'd been lost in thought. After a few moments hesitation she knocked quietly on the door. She needed to talk to someone that wasn't Voight, to figure out what was going on in her head.

She was about to give up and walk back to Voight's when the door slowly creaked open, revealing a half asleep and very confused Jay. He quickly woke up when he spotted Erin on the other side of the door. "Sorry I know it's late, or early, what ever you want to call it..." She laughed nervously. "I was just... I... Do you have a minute?" She asked nervously.

Jay laughed quietly. "What would I possibly be doing at.." He checked his watch. "Half last one in the morning?" He asked, stepping aside to her let in. "Jeez it's cold out there!" He shivered, quickly shutting the door. "I'll be back in two seconds!" He called over his shoulder, heading in to the bedroom to put some clothes on.

He reappeared a couple of minutes later, sitting down opposite Erin. "So, what brings you to my apartment in the middle of the night?" He asked, praying she wasn't about to run off. He'd been so relieved when Voight had texted him saying he'd found Erin.

Erin gave him a small smile. "I'm sorry it's so late... I was out walking and I just kinda ended up here..." She said, playing with her fingers nervously.

"Ok then... What were you doing wandering around Chicago in the middle of the night?" Jay asked, the amused grin fading from his face. She'd clearly got something on her mind that she wanted to talk about.

Erin sighed, he always seemed to know what she was thinking. "Tell me it's the right thing to do, pressing charges?" She said quietly.

The question caught him totally be surprise. "Of course it is Erin, you can't let him get away with what he's done." He said firmly, trying to hide the fact he was thrilled she was considering it.

"Then why does it feel so wrong?" She asked, looking up and meeting his eye.

"What do you mean?"

"I... It just doesn't feel right, sending him to jail... He didn't mean to... I should have been better... I-"

Jay cut her off. He couldn't bear to listen to her blame herself again. "None of what happened is your fault Erin. He deserves to be punished for what he's done. If he's in jail he can't hurt anyone else." He said, getting out of his chair and crouching in front of Erin.

Erin slowly looked up at him. "That's what Voight said." She muttered.

Jay sat gently on the sofa next to her. "He's right though."

Erin laughed. "He usually is!"

"That's true!" Jay laughed, nodding in agreement.

"I probably should've listened to him about Luke in the first place, things would be a whole lot different now if I had." She said shaking her head sadly. She wished she could go back in time and change what had happened, she'd been totally oblivious to what was happening at the time, but looking back on it she saw all the signs were there.

"You had no way of knowing-"

"I did... He hit me when I was nineteen. We'd not been together that long... We were at a party and he caught be chatting to some guy I knew from school... He went nuts and dragged me out of the party... Then he just hit me... I got in the car, he drove me home... I told Voight I'd got in a fight at the party- he yelled at me for a bit and then I just carried on, as though it hadn't happened."

Jay was quiet for a moment, stunned by what she'd just told him. "Why didn't you tell Voight the truth?" He asked. "You must have known that wasn't normal.."

Erin shrugged, looking down at her hands. "I wanted something in my life to work out for once... My Dad used to beat the crap out of my Mom when before he went to prison... I grew up watching that happen... It just seemed normal to me..." Her voice fading to a whisper. She never talked about her parents, not even with Voight.

Jay had no idea what to say to her. He'd got so many questions he wanted to ask her, but he didn't want to pry. Whatever it was she was thinking about was clearly upsetting her. He just rested his hand gently on her back, rubbing it gently. She rested her head on his shoulder, taking a deep breath. "Thank you." She said quietly.

"For what?" Jay asked, confused.

"For being here, for putting up with all my drama..."

"Any time." Jay said, smiling.

Erin smiled slightly. She knew he meant it too. "I'll hold you to that." She mumbled,mfeeling her eyes droop closed. She forced them open again. "I should go.." She said getting to her feet quickly.

"I'm driving you." Jay said, going to get his car keys. He saw her open her mouth to protest but she shook his head. "No arguments." He laughed, following her towards the door.

Erin rolled her eyes dramatically. "If you insist!"

"I do, actually." She could hear the smile in his voice as he got in to the car.

He started driving back across town, then noticed that Erin was deadly silent, gripping the seat tightly. "What's wrong?" He asked, looking over at her.

"I'm never getting in a car with you again! They seriously let you drive at work?" She asked, still staring at the road infront of them. Jay didn't say anything, just laughing quietly as he carried on driving back to Voight's house.

Erin was relieved when the car finally stopped outside Voight's house. "Thank god! I didn't think I was getting out of there alive!" She said dramatically as she got out of his car.

Jay laughed quietly to himself, rolling down the window as she walked around to the drivers side. "Don't be so dramatic!"

Erin pulled a face at him. "Thank you." She said more seriously, giving his arm a quick squeeze before heading back in to Voight's house. Jay smiled back at her, sitting and waiting until she was safely inside the house. He couldn't help but smile to himself- she seemed like she was finally making some progress.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Erin sat in Voight's office, tapping her fingers nervously on the edge of the desk. She was exhausted, having not slept at all after Jay had dropped her off the night before. She was waiting for Voight to come back, she was supposed to go over everything that had happened between her and Luke, every last little detail. The thought of it was making her feel sick. She wasn't sure if she could sit there and tell Voight everything, she knew he felt guilty already and hearing what had happened certainly wouldn't help him.

Her head snapped up as Voight walked back in to the office, closing the door behind him. He sat down in his chair and looked at her. Erin felt her stomach flip. It was a similar feeling to being sat in the principles office in high school after she'd been caught fighting with another girl.

Voight frowned slightly, he could see Erin was having some kind of internal debate with herself. "What's up kid?" He asked.

Erin hesitated. "I can't-" She started.

Voight felt his heart sink. "Erin, please you need to do this." Voight pleaded, he should've known she'd change her mind.

Erin shook her head. "No... It's not that... I just.. I can't do this with you." She saw the look on Voight's face and quickly tried to finish her sentence. "It's not that... It's just, I know you're blaming yourself for this." Her face softened slightly. "I don't want you to hear this." She whispered, looking down at her hands.

Voight sat quietly for a few moments, thinking. He stood up, wordlessly and walked towards his office door. "Whatever you want kid." In a way he was slightly relieved. If he had to sit and listen to everything that bastard had done to Erin he'd have a hard time restraining himself, he knew that for sure.

He walked out of his office, closing the door behind him. "Halstead?" He called, walking towards the desk.

Jay's head snapped up at the sound of his name. He stopped typing and gave Voight a questioning look. "Yeah?"

"Erin wants someone else to take her statement." He said, looking at Jay who nodded. He got up from his desk and walked in the direction of Voight's office. "Halstead?" Voight called after him, waiting for him to turn around. "Don't screw this up." He finished, heading in the direction of the stairs.

Jay quietly opened Voight's office door, giving Erin a smile as she turned around to look at him. He could see the relief on her face. "Hey.." He said, sitting down in Voight's chair.

Erin flashed him a smile. "Thanks... I just know what Voight's like... He won't be able to help himself..." She trailed off as Jay nodded, knowing full well what Voight could be like.

He took out a piece of paper and then looked up at Erin. "Ready when you are.." He said. "Take your time." He added, knowing it wasn't going to be easy for her.

Erin tried to force another smile. Her heart was racing in her chest, she was surprised Jay couldn't hear it. She felt sick to her stomach, her anxiety about having to tell someone what had gone on hitting a peak. "Sorry.." She mumbled, tapping her fingers nervously.

Jay reached out and gently put a hand on hers, stilling her fingers. "It's ok." He said, giving her another smile.

Erin looked up at him, meeting his eyes. "I wish I could believe you." She muttered, more to herself than him. No matter how many times people told her she was doing the right thing, there was still a little bit of doubt left in her mind.

"You should." Jay said simply, shrugging.

Erin snapped out of her thoughts and looked up at him. "Oh yeah? Why's that then?" She asked.

"I'm always right too!" Jay laughed, removing his hand gently from her own.

Erin laughed. "Oh and modest too!" She teased, making Jay laugh.

He could see how much more relaxed she was. "Come on then." He said after a few moments pause. "Let's do this, then I'll take you out for lunch." He smiled.

Erin frowned slightly. "If you're driving then I'm not interested!" She teased.

Jay pretended to be hurt. "Ouch! There's nothing wrong with my driving anyway!" He said, crossing his arms and looking at her.

Erin didn't say anything, just laughing again. She sighed quietly. "Where do you want me to start?" She asked, looking down at her hands again. She knew there was little point in putting it off any further, she was going to have to relive everything sooner or later.

"At the beginning if you can, the night me and Antonio found you... Just take your time though.. I know it's hard." Jay said, picking up his pen.

Erin nodded slowly. "I came home from work.. He'd been drinking, again. He was mad at me because I'd been working late." She paused and took a deep breath. "I'd been taking loads of extra shifts, he'd spent my wages from the month before and I hadn't got enough to pay the rent.." She shook her head. "He was convinced I'd been sneaking around behind his back with someone else... It just kind of escalated... I took the scotch bottle from him, he snatched it back and threw it at me... I remember him hitting me and falling to the floor-" She stopped, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I can't remember anything else... Sorry." She mumbled.

Jay passed her a tissue, giving her a smile. "It's ok." He said, jotting down what she'd told him. "I know it's hard."

Erin looked back up at him, trying to blink back her tears. "Sorry." She mumbled, feeling them spill down her cheeks.

Jay gave her a second to compose herself again, looking down at his watch. "Come on, let's go grab some lunch or something." He said, putting his coat on. Erin nodded, giving him a grateful smile.

"Thank you." She said, putting on her own coat and following him towards the door.

Jay saw Voight look up at them as they walked out of the office, giving him a confused look. "Erin and I are just popping out for some lunch. We'll be back soon." Jay clarified, gesturing towards the stairs.

They ended up sat in a little cafe just down from the precinct, somewhere Jay went often. "Thanks." Erin said again, taking a sip of her coffee.

Jay laughed quietly. "You know, you don't have to keep saying that." He smiled.

Erin laughed too. "Sorry... I'll stop." She said, looking up at him and laughing.

"I am-" She started, but Jay gave her a look that stopped her. "Okay! I'm done!" She laughed.

Jay was quiet for a minute. "I'm really glad you decided to stay." He said eventually.

Erin nodded slowly. "We both know Voight would never have let me go." She laughed. It ended up sounding forced, something which didn't go unnoticed by Jay.

He frowned. "What's bothering you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow slightly.

Erin felt her face flush, she'd never understand how he managed to read her like an open book. "Nothing." She muttered, looking back down at her coffee.

"Erin?" Jay said, bending down to try and catch her eye. "There's not much point lying to me.." He said.

Erin sighed, looking back up at him. "I just wonder, if maybe I'd be better off somewhere else, where I haven't got all this history... A fresh start." She said slowly as Jay nodded. "I just feel like I'm sixteen again- living in Voight's spare bedroom and hiding from my past." She said, trying to work out if he understood her.

"I guess it's going to take a bit of getting used to... It's always difficult to adjust to start with- I know it took me a while when I got out of the military. I had to move in with my parents while I found my own place and it felt like I was a teenager again. It gets better though." He said.

Erin looked at him for a moment. "You were in the military?" She asked curiously. He'd never mentioned it before.

"Yeah." Jay said slowly. He was hoping she wasn't going to start asking too many questions. His time in the military wasn't something he was very comfortable talking about.

Erin thought for a moment. "Do you ever.." She paused, wondering if she could ask him. "You know, get nightmares? That kind of thing?" She asked.

Jay sighed. "I used to get them all the time... When I first got back I didn't sleep for weeks." He said. "You having trouble sleeping?" He asked hesitantly, wondering if she'd actually tell him.

Erin nodded slowly. "Every time I close my eyes it's like he's there, standing over me." She said. She wasn't giving him a full explanation of what was going on in her nightmares, something she thought he probably knew.

Jay gave her a sympathetic smile. "It's tough. Some of the things I saw out there still haunt me to this day... I'd love to tell you it gets better with time but it would be a lie... If I'm stressed I still have them now." He told her. "I used to get up and walk for miles in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep, just to try and take my mind off it."

Erin nodded as he spoke. "That's kind of how I ended up at your door the other night." She said sheepishly.

Jay smiled. "I thought as much. You know I'm here, if you ever want to talk about it. I'm sure Voight-" He stopped as Erin shook her head vigorously.

"I just can't... He's blaming himself for what happened to me, for not stopping it... I can't tell him what happened.. He feels bad enough as it is." Erin said quickly, her eyes pleading with Jay not to tell Voight what she'd told him.

Jay nodded slowly. "I'm not going to tell him anything unless you want me to.. I wouldn't worry too much Erin, we both know Voight's pretty tough- I'm sure he would cope-" He stopped as Erin started shaking her head again, the slightly panicked look returning to her eyes. "Ok, it's fine.. I'm not going to tell him." He reassured her. "As long as you promise to talk to me? You can't keep this all bottled up."

Erin nodded. "Promise." She said, draining the last of her coffee. "We should probably get back..." She said, staring to put her coat back on. Jay nodded in agreement, Voight would come out looking for them if they took much longer.

"I want to get this over with." Erin added as they walked towards the door, looking over at Jay who nodded.

"Let's go and get this done then." He agreed. He'd be happier when it was over and done with. Then Luke could be arrested and they could finally start to move on. At least he hoped they could. Erin needed some kind of closure on what had happened, the kind she was only going to get by seeing Luke punished for what he'd done and knowing he wasn't coming back to hurt her. He just hoped she was going to get that closure she so desperately needed.


	11. Chapter 11

_Hi guys, sorry about the delay- I've had so much going on it's been crazy! This is a little shorter again, but I felt that the next part needed it's own chapter. I'll try not to leave it so long between updates next time. Let me know what you think!_

* * *

Jay didn't think exhausted was a strong enough word to describe how tired he was by the time he got home. In the two days since he'd taken Erin's statement they'd been overwhelmed with cases and he felt as though he hadn't slept in weeks. He looked at his watch as he finally turned on to his street, rolling his eyes as he saw it read 1.30am. Voight had finally sent him home after he'd nearly fallen asleep at his desk trying to finish some paperwork. He was beyond relieved.

He strained his eyes in the dark, spotting a silhouette standing by his door. He was about to call out and ask who it was when he heard a familiar voice. "I thought you might be hungry?" She called, holding up a pizza box.

Jay looked down at his watch again. "It's 1.3o in the morning?" He said, the confusion clear in his voice. He stepped around her to unlock the door to his apartment.

Erin laughed quietly. "In which case, I'll just take my pizza and-" she smiled as Jay shook his head vigorously. "I didn't think so!" She said, following him in and shutting the door behind her.

"So... Can I ask why you're on my doorstep at 1am again? Is this going to be a regular thing? Just so I know if I should be putting it on the calendar!" He teased, laughing as Erin playfully smacked his arm.

Once the laughter had died down Erin spoke again. "Couldn't sleep... We both know Voight will be gone for hours... I don't really like being in the house on my own.." She trailed off, shrugging as she sat down on the sofa.

Jay nodded and gave her an understanding smile. "You're always welcome here." He said, giving her arm a quick squeeze. "Especially if you bring food!" He laughed, sitting down next to her and opening up the pizza box.

Erin laughed as she heard his stomach rumble loudly. "Anyone would think you haven't eaten for a week!" She muttered, taking a slice of pizza. "I think you're supposed to chew food..." She laughed as Jay inhaled a slice of pizza.

"You're hilarious!" He teased, taking another slice of pizza and rolling his eyes at her. "But thanks for the food!"

There was quiet as they both sat there and ate the pizza, each lost in thought. As Jay finished the final slice of pizza he leaned back against the sofa, looking round at Erin. "Does Voight know you're here?" He asked her, suddenly thinking that Voight would be worried if he came home and she wasn't there.

Erin nodded. "I called him to tell him earlier." She hesitated. "I'm sorry to just show up like this... I can go if you.." She stopped as Jay shook his head.

"No way, I meant what I said- anytime." He flashed her a smile. "You still having trouble sleeping?" He asked quietly, trying to hold her eyes as she looked down at the floor.

After a few seconds pause she nodded slightly. "I just can't make it stop." She whispered, running her hand through her hair and looking up at him.

Jay gave her a knowing smile. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked hesitantly.

"Does taking really help?" She asked him quietly.

Jay hesitated. "I don't know... I can't honestly say I've ever really talked to anyone myself." He admitted. "People say it does but.." He shrugged.

Erin nodded in agreement. "I just want to move on." She whispered, a tear sliding down her cheek. Jay didn't say anything, just moving closer to her and putting an arm around her. He heard her breath catch in her throat as she tried to hold back a sob. "But I can't."

"Erin.." Jay said quietly, wondering what he could possibly say that was going to be of any comfort to her. "You are moving on…. It takes time." He said, putting an arm around her.

Erin took a couple of deep breaths, trying to pull herself together. "Sorry." She mumbled, reaching up to wipe the tears from her eyes. "I'm such a mess." She sniffed quietly, feeling his arms tightly around her. "It just seems never ending…. Like I finally leave him, then I have to keep dragging it up over and over again and I.." She stopped again, sitting up to look at him.

Jay nodded slowly, giving her a small smile. "I know it feels like it's never going to end… But you have to trust me, on day it'll start getting easier." Erin gave him a curious look, the tears still glistening in her eyes slightly. He shook his head gently, he wasn't about to start explaining everything to her, she'd got enough of her own problems to deal with- she didn't need his problems on her mind too.

"You aren't going to tell me are you?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

He shook his head and laughed gently. "Am I that predictable?" He asked.

Erin laughed too, "Maybe!" After a few moments the laughter died down, leaving them sat quietly next to eachother. "I should probably go.." Erin said slowly, looking down at her watch. "It's nearly 3am." She started to stand up to leave.

Jay shook his head, catching her hand. "It's late.. just crash in my spare room?" He said, looking at her questioningly. "Voight won't mind." He said, wondering in his own mind if Voight would actually be ok with it.

Erin nodded slowly, not really wanting to walk back across town again. She smiled, stifling a yawn. "Thanks.." She squeezed his arm gently before walking down to his spare room. She shut the door quietly behind herself, leaning back against the cool wood. She was exhausted, not being able to remember the last time she'd slept properly. As she sank down on the bed and looked around the bare room she could feel her eyes drooping closed. She couldn't help a silent prayer that her nightmares wouldn't haunt her that night.


	12. Chapter 12

_Hi Guys, thanks again for all your lovely reviews, I really enjoy reading them! Thanks again for reading :)_

* * *

Jay woke up two hours later to the sound of screaming. It took him a few minutes to work out where it was coming from, then he suddenly remembered- Erin. He quickly jumped out of bed, crossing the hallway to the spare room. He could see her thrashing around in the bed in the dim light the alarm clock gave.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, putting a hand on her shoulder and shaking her gently. "Wake up Erin." He said quietly, shaking her again. He was about to try again when she suddenly jolted awake. He could see the panic in her eyes as she sat bolt upright in the bed, breathing heavily. "It's ok... It was just a dream." He added, gently rubbing her back as she tried to catch her breath.

There were a few long moments of silence, the only sound Erin's quick breathing. Eventually she laid back against the pillows, staring up at the ceiling. She couldn't quite wrap her head around the fact it had been just a dream. "It felt so real." She whispered.

Jay squeezed her arm gently, laying down on the bed beside her. "Do you want to tell me about it?" He asked, trying to suppress a yawn. He was exhausted, he didn't even want to think about the fact he had to be at work again in a matter of hours.

He heard her breath catch in her throat as the considered telling him. Then she shook her head gently. "I can't." She whispered, rolling on to her side so she was facing away from him.

Jay wasn't at all surprised by her answer. "I'll be right here if you change your mind." He said, battling to keep his eyes open. Erin couldn't help but let out a quiet laugh, almost as soon as the words had left his mouth he started snoring quietly next to her.

Eventually, the sun started streaming in through the window. Erin looked over at Jay who was still snoring beside her. She was envious, he looked so peaceful and carefree, laying there sleeping. She wished she could have just a few hours without any worries on her mind at all. It wasn't going to happen for quite some time though, that she was almost sure of.

After another five minutes of listening to him snoring she gave up on trying to sleep, getting out of the bed to make some coffee instead. She was going to need plenty of caffeine to get through the day, that she was sure of.

She was lost in thought, making coffee when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She didn't even think twice about where she was, flinching and then shoving him backwards away from her.

"Ouch!" She heard him yell as he smacked into the kitchen counter.

She turned around to find Jay stood there, his hands held up in surrender. Her heart was still racing in her chest. "Sorry." She said, walking towards him. "You scared me." She added quietly.

Jay was quiet for a second, the realisation flickering across his face. "Erin.. I'm so-" he started.

She cut him off with the shake of her head. "It's fine Jay, really..." She flashed him an unconvincing smile. "I'm just a bit on edge.." She added, passing him a mug of coffee.

Jay was quiet, taking a sip of his coffee. He was trying to work out how to get Erin to talk to him. Something was clearly bothering her, her nightmares and how jumpy she was made that clear. He just couldn't understand why she wasn't talking to him. She'd been so open about everything else. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

Erin looked down at the floor. "It's so real... It's like I'm right there."

Jay frowned in confusion. "I don't understand" he said, waiting for some kind of explanation. "What's it about?"

Erin took a shaky breath. "It's like I'm there, in the courtroom… and they start asking all these questions… and then they don't believe me." She whispered, so quietly Jay wasn't even sure if he'd heard her right.

It took him by surprise a little, they hadn't really talked about the upcoming trial. He'd just assumed she was ok with what was going to happen, but clearly she wasn't. "It's going to be ok Erin." He said, then realised that his words weren't really going to offer her much comfort. Whatever he said, she wouldn't believe him.

She didn't say anything, just looking down at her feet and trying to hold back the tears. Jay moved towards her slowly, seeing her bottom lip quiver as she tried not to cry. He gently reached out towards her, taking extra care not to frighten her. He pulled her in tightly. "I'll be right there." He promised, rubbing her back gently.

"Thank you." She mumbled against his chest, leaning her head against his shoulder. She had no idea what she would've done if it wasn't for Jay and Voight. She didn't think she had the strength to go through all this on her own. In fact, she was fairly sure she'd still be with Luke if it wasn't for those two.

They didn't move for a few minutes, just standing in his kitchen quietly, each lost in thought. Eventually, Jay pulled away slowly. "We'd better go, or Voight's going to send a search party." He joked, looking at the clock over her shoulder. They were already an hour late, but he'd sent Voight a quick text last night explaining, so he probably wouldn't be that surprised.

Erin nodded, rearranging her face in to what she hoped resembled a smile. "I'll be five minutes." She said, turning to go and get dressed for the day. She'd been going in to work with Voight, just sitting at a desk in the corner and answering phones, helping out with some paperwork. She was enjoying it, it helped keep her mind busy and there was the added bonus of knowing that Luke wouldn't bother her there.

She came back out ten minutes later, dressed in the same clothes she'd arrived in last night. Jay got up off the sofa as she started putting her shoes on. As he walked towards the door she turned around to face him, frowning slightly. "What?" Jay asked, reaching past her to grab his jacket.

"Can I drive?" She asked, holding her hand out for the keys.

Jay rolled his eyes dramatically. "Not this again! There is nothing wrong with my driving!" He protested, the keys still firmly in his hand.

Erin stood, hands on hips, and glared at him. "I'm not getting in that car with you driving again! I value my life!" She laughed, holding a hand out to him again. After a few moments consideration Jay placed the keys in her hands. Erin grinned, closing her hands around the keys before he could change his mind and let them back.

Jay sat nervously in the passenger seat the whole way to the precinct. He wasn't used to letting other people drive him around. It wasn't that she was a bad driver, he just didn't like being a passenger. Erin was still grinning from ear to ear when they pulled up outside the precinct.

She'd just parked the car when there was a knock on the window. Erin smiled and rolled it down as she turned to find Voight on the other side. "Hey Kid!" He smiled. "Didn't fancy Halstead's driving this morning?" He laughed.

Erin shook her head, laughing as she looked at Jay's expression. "No way!"

Voight looked back over at Halstead. "I let him drive me once, never again… See you inside." He said, turning to walk in to the precinct.

Erin couldn't help but laugh as she looked at Jay. "I'm offended!" He protested. "There's nothing wrong with my driving!"

Erin rolled her eyes at him, getting out of the car. "You just keep telling yourself that! I'm still driving." She laughed, elbowing him in the ribs playfully as they walked inside.

Jay sighed defeatedly. Truth be told, he didn't mind her driving too much, it was just nice to see her so happy. He was more annoyed that Voight had insulted his driving too. He shook it off, following Erin through the doors into the precinct.

"Good Morning!" Erin called cheerfully to Sargent Platt, who gave her a smile and wave in return. Jay still couldn't understand why Platt was so friendly towards Erin. He didn't think he'd seen the woman smile more than once the whole time he'd been working there. He'd have to remember to ask Erin what her secret was at some point- his life would be so much easier if Platt actually liked him.

Jay's hopes of a quiet day were quickly shattered, Voight handing around case files to everyone before he'd even had a chance to sit down. He rolled his eyes slightly, trying to suppress a yawn, something that didn't go unnoticed by Erin. He groaned internally as Voight sent him and Antonio out to look for a suspect, he wanted nothing more than a quiet day at his desk, Erin laughed as he walked past the desk she was sat at. "Have fun!" She called as he walked down the stairs.

He climbed in the car next to Antonio, starting the engine. He was glad to be back in the drivers seat. He'd been driving along for a couple of minutes when Antonio spoke, breaking the silence. "So then, what's going on with you and Erin?" He asked, looking across at Jay.

Jay felt his cheeks flush slightly as he carried on staring at the road straight ahead of him. "Nothing. She just needs a friend right now." He told Antonio, turning off on to a smaller street.

Antonio raised an eyebrow. "You sure about that buddy?" He asked. He'd been watching the way that Jay and Erin were around each other, he'd thought maybe there was something else going on.

"I'm sure… She just needs a friend… She's got a lot of things to sort out." Jay said more firmly this time, wishing they could get to their destination already and end this conversation. Him and Erin were just friends, he wasn't about to mess that up anytime soon- she needed him to be there for her.

Much to his relief Antonio didn't push it any further. "Whatever you say." He muttered under his breath, so quietly that Jay didn't even hear him. "Wait, I think we're here." He said, pointing to the building they'd just pulled up outside of.

Erin had just hung up the phone when Ruzek came and sat on the edge of the desk. She could tell from his facial expression he'd got something he wanted to ask. "Spit it out Adam!" She said, jotting down the message she'd just taken on a post it note.

"You and Halstead huh?" He asked, giving her a knowing look.

Erin felt her cheeks flush scarlet. "I don't know what you're talking about…. We're friends." She said, continuing to look at the computer screen in front of her. Nothing could happen between her and Jay, they were friends, that was it. He'd never want to be with someone as messed up as her, that she was sure of.

Ruzek stood up slowly, walking back over to his own desk. He looked over at Erin quickly, before pulling out his phone. '_Fifty bucks.' _ He texted to Antonio, knowing Antonio would know what he was talking about. A few seconds later his phone buzzed as a message came in. '_it's on Ruzek!' _He received from Antonio. He tried to wipe the smirk off his face as Erin looked up at him curiously. "Like taking candy from a baby." He muttered quietly, turning back to his work.


	13. Chapter 13

Hey guys, sorry it's a bit short- I've been working so much and this is what I've got so far. I promise the next chapter will be longer with much more happening!

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"It's open!" Jay called, hearing a knock in his front door. He couldn't be bothered to get up again, he was absolutely exhausted.

The door slowly creaked open, Erin smiling as she peered around the door. "Sorry it's late..." She said apologetically, stepping inside and shutting the door behind her. "I just wanted to check up on you." She smiled, stepping towards him.

"I'm fine." Jay smiled, trying to reassure her although the pain in his ribs was certainly suggesting otherwise.

Erin stood infront of him, an eyebrow raised. "You're a rubbish liar!" She laughed, before sitting down next to him. She turned to look at him, her fingers subconsciously coming up and tracing the freshly formed bruises on his cheek.

Jay shivered slightly as her cool fingers grazed across his skin. "It's fine, really." He protested, gently capturing her hand and moving it away from his cheek. "It's nothing."

Erin's frown deepend. "What the hell happened?" She asked him."Voight didn't really tell me."

Jay rolled his eyes. "Of course he didn't..." He muttered under s breath trying to decide what to tell her. After a few moments hesitation he bottled it. "Nothing." He smiled. "Just an angry suspect... So, now was your day?" He asked, changing the subject quickly in the hope she wouldn't be able to see right through him.

Erin sighed dramatically, making him laugh. "This whole police academy thing is so much more work than I'd imagined!" She laughed.

Jay smiled back at her, knowing despite her complaints she wouldn't change it for the world. "You love it really." He smiled, leaning back against the sofa.

Erin leant back next to him, smiling. "You're right... I'm just so happy Voight managed to get me in!"

Jay nodded. He had no idea what Voight had been up to until last week when Erin had shown up on his doorstep and announced Voight had got her in to the academy. He was happy for her, he knew it was what she'd wanted to do- what she almost certainly would've done if it hadn't been for Luke. "You'll be in intelligence in no time!" He reassured her, smiling as he looked at how excited she was.

Erin laughed. "If I am, I can tell you now, you won't be driving again!" She said, elbowing him playfully.

Jay couldn't manage to hold back a wince as she jostled his ribs.

"Oh god I am so sorry!" Erin said, cringing.

Jay shook his head. "It's fine..really." He smiled, not wanting to bring the conversation back to his injuries.

"Whoever it was really knocked you around!" Erin said, her eyes running over the bruises once again.

Jay shrugged. "It's not a big deal."

Erin frowned, she couldn't help but wonder why he was so adamant not to discuss what had happened with her. She brushed it off in the end, deciding she was just being paranoid. She decided to change the subject instead. "So, Ruzek's been really weird..." She said, wondering if Jay might have some insight in to his behaviour.

"Antonio too... Don't ask me though, I haven't got a clue what goes on in their heads!" He laughed. "What's he been doing anyway?" He asked curiously.

"He just keeps asking all these questions about me and you..." She said, raising an eyebrow slightly.

"Ah." Jay said, realising the nature of Ruzek's questioning was very similar to Antonio's.

"Ah?" Erin asked, waiting for him to explain.

"Don't worry about it- I'll have words with them when I get in to work tomorrow." He smiled.

Erin looked down at the ground nervously. "Actually, you're not going back to work tomorrow... Voight sent me here to make sure you'd rest and take the day off tomorrow."

Jay sighed. He should've seen that one coming. "You don't have to stay and baby sit me, I'm a grown man and I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself!" He complained.

Erin laughed. "Voight said you'd say that too... Besides, I want to stay! We haven't seen eachother properly in ages!"

Jay opened his mouth to say something, then much to Erin's relief closed it again. After a few moments silence he spoke again. "So Voight sent you huh?" He asked.

Erin nodded. "Yeah he said something about meeting up with Olinsky and he didn't want me to be on my own..."

Jay laughed. "So it wasn't actually that he was concerned about me- I didn't think so!"

Erin laughed. "It's Voight, what were you expecting!"

"That's true.. Thanks for coming though." Jay smiled. After a few moments silence Jay spoke again. "I'll be right back." He excused himself, grabbing his phone and heading in to the bathroom.

He quickly dialed Voight's number, reaching his voicemail. After trying Olinsky, only to reach his voicemail too, Jay quickly redialled Voight's number, leaving him a message. "Voight, it's Halstead. Erin told me you sent her here and you were meeting up with Olinsky... Just call me back... And please don't do anything stupid... The last thing Erin needs is you going back to prison." He said, keeping his voice as quiet as possible so Erin wouldn't hear.

He quickly hung up the phone, walking back out to see Erin asleep on the sofa. He couldn't help but smile, despite his worries about what Voight might be up too- he just hoped for Erin's sake he hadn't done anything stupid.


	14. Chapter 14

_Sorry everyone, I don't know what my laptop is doing! Thanks to Jaelyn2001 for pointing it out to me. I hope this has worked and you can all see the chapter!_

Chapter 14

Jay woke up early the next morning, a crick in his neck from a night spent on the sofa. He couldn't help but smile though as he looked down at Erin, who was curled up asleep beside him on the sofa, her head rested gently on his lap. He tentatively raised a hand and gently stroked her hair which was splayed out across his lap. He smiled as she started to stir slightly, her fingers catching hold of his own and pulling him closer. He knew it shouldn't be making him this happy, to be spending time with Erin like that- she needed a simple and uncomplicated friendship, she'd been through far too much already. But, as hard as he tried he just couldn't help himself.

He sat there quietly for a few more moments before a loud alarm sounded through the apartment. He couldn't help but laugh as Erin suddenly jumped up from the sofa, a panicked look on her face. "Crap! I'm going to be so late!" She said, searching frantically for her phone to stop the alarm.

Jay picked the phone up off the floor, holding it out to her wordlessly, the smile still on his face. "Why are you laughing?!" Erin demanded, wheeling around to face him with her hands on her hips.

Jay just smiled at her, standing up again. "Because it's Saturday!" He laughed, walking towards her and taking the phone out of her clenched hand.

Erin glared at him, smacking at his shoulder playfully. "You could have told me that before I got up!" She complained, following him through to the kitchen.

Jay smiled to himself, putting on some coffee for them both. "How was I to know you had an alarm set for.." He paused to look at the clock. "5.30am? Wait, does it seriously take you that long to get ready?" He asked turning around to face her.

Erin sighed, crossing her legs as she sat on the kitchen counter. "Don't start making fun of me Halstead- it's way too early for that." She laughed, taking the mug of coffee he held out to her.

"But you make it so easy!" He protested, leaning back against the counter.

Erin didn't say anything, just sticking her tongue out at him before taking a sip of her coffee. She needed to pull herself together, she was getting far too used to having Jay around. She was all too aware of the fact that sooner or later he was going to meet someone and she'd be left on her own yet again.

"So then, what are you doing today?" He asked, putting his coffee back down on the counter.

Erin looked up at him curiously. "Nothing, I expect Voight will be working." She smiled, knowing Voight was well and truly married to his job.

Jay nodded. "I was going to take a drive out to visit my folks… You could always tag along if you like?" He asked quietly, waiting for her to come up with an excuse not to.

Much to his surprise, a smile lit up Erin's face. "That sounds great!" She said enthusiastically, jumping down off the counter. "We'll have to stop at Voight's first though so I can get some clothes."

Jay nodded, looking down at his watch. "We'll probably have to leave pretty soon, it's a bit of a drive and I want to beat the traffic." He said, looking across at Erin who was pulling a face. "What's wrong?" He asked, wondering if he'd made a mistake in asking her.

"You're driving?" She asked

Jay pulled a face back at her. "Seriously? There is nothing wrong with my driving!"

Erin rolled her eyes. "Just hurry up before I change my mind Halstead!" She laughed, going to find her shoes and her jacket.

It didn't take them long to get back to Voight's, Erin out of the car and almost through the front door before Jay had even turned the engine off. He smiled, getting out of the car and trailing up the path after her. She'd already disappeared in to her bedroom by the time he got there, leaving him awkwardly stood in Voight's kitchen waiting.

"Halstead." He heard a familiar voice behind him, making him jump slightly.

He turned around to face Voight. "Voight.. Sorry, I'm just waiting for Erin." He said, trying to keep his face neutral as he took in Voight's face. He'd got a bruise over his left cheek and a swollen lip- Jay could see someone had clearly hit him, although Voight's grazed knuckles would suggest he'd given as good as he'd got.

Voight gave him a look that clearly told him it was none of his business, something which only made Jay worry more. He didn't even want to think about what Voight had done last night. He was wondering how far he could push his luck when he heard a door close and footsteps coming towards them.

"Let's go! Bye Voight!" Erin called, racing ahead of Jay towards the front door.

"Bye Kid! Have fun." Voight called back to her.

Jay followed after her quickly, trying to shake off his concern over what Voight was up to. He'd have to worry about that on Monday when he got back to work.

Erin was already in the passenger seat waiting for him as he climbed in next to her. "I mean it Halstead- you'd better drive better than you did on the other day or we'll be swapping places!" She laughed, buckling up her seat belt.

"Not a chance!" He replied, looking over at her as he started the engine.

It was just before lunch time when they arrived at his parents. It usually took him half the time to get there, but he'd driven slower than normal- conscious of what Erin had said about his driving. He looked over at Erin who'd gone incredibly pale all of a sudden as he pulled in to his parents driveway. "What's wrong?" He asked her, gently unclenching her fingers.

Erin felt her face flush slightly as she looked down at his hands which were gently holding her own. She had no idea why she was so nervous about meeting Jay's parents, it wasn't like they were a couple of anything. Not that it mattered, she didn't think she'd ever even met Luke's parents. She tried to shake the thoughts off, it was certainly not the time to be thinking about Luke. "I'm fine." She smiled, trying to convince him, despite the fact her knees felt as though they'd buckle the second she stood up.

Both of their heads snapped up as the front door to the house swung open. "Good." Jay smiled, removing his hands from hers and opening the car door. "Hi Mom!" He called to the woman standing in the doorway.

"Hi!" She called back at him, her eyes wandering across to Erin. "Who's this lovely young lady?" She asked, a huge grin on her face. Before Jay could answer she'd turned back into the house. "Get out here! Your son has brought a girl with him!" They heard her call.

Erin stood nervously next to Jay, laughing slightly as she saw he'd blushed bright red. "I'm so sorry." He mouthed at her, walking towards the front door with her.

Erin laughed, shaking her head to dismiss his worries. She only wished she'd had a family like this when she was growing up.

"Come in, come in!" Jay's Mom said, stepping aside to let them both in. "Let me take that!" She said, taking Erin's jacket from her as she took it off.

"Thanks." Erin smiled, standing awkwardly next to Jay, not really knowing what to do with herself.

"Jay, you should've told us you were bringing your girlfriend with us!" His Mom scolded him.

Jay felt his face flush again, he'd forgotten what his Mom could be like. He was just about to speak when Erin spoke. "It was a last minute thing, I'm sure he didn't do it on purpose." She smiled, walking through to the living room with his Mom. Jay frowned slightly in confusion, wondering why Erin hadn't corrected his mother.

He walked through into the kitchen to find his Dad stirring a pot on the stove. "You've done well there Son." His Dad smiled, nodding in the direction of Erin.

"It's not.." Jay started, feeling he should do something to correct his parents assumptions.

His Dad cut him off. "Whatever you say Son! As long as you're happy.. But you might want to go and save the poor girl from your mother!" He laughed, patting him on the back.

Jay laughed and walked out into the living room, following the sound of his mother's voice. As he listened to what she was saying he realised what they were up to. "Mom!" He complained as he walked around the corner to find his Mom and Erin going through photo's of him as a baby. "Erin doesn't want or need to see those!"

Erin laughed. "Oh no! These are brilliant!" She laughed, holding up a photo that made Jay flush bright red all over again.

"This is why I never bring anyone here Mom!" He complained, stretching up to take the photo Erin was holding above her head in a futile attempt to stop him taking the photo from her. Erin sighed in defeat as he easily took the photo from her, hardly having to stretch, before quickly gathering the rest of them up.

"I'll show you another time while he's not looking!" His Mom promised, Erin nodding enthusiastically.

"I'll hold you to that!" She laughed, turning to face Jay who was stood watching the two of them with his arms crossed. If she couldn't see the smile he was desperately trying to hide she would've been worried she'd upset him.

They'd spent all day with his parents, Erin feeling more relaxed than she had done for a long time. Despite her initial reservations, she got on really well with both Jay's parents, having a fantastic time listening to all kinds of embarrassing stories about Jay's childhood despite his desperate attempts to change the subject numerous times.

They were just getting ready to leave, when Jay looked out of the window. "Crap." He muttered, looking at the huge amount of snow that had fallen. "We probably should've left earlier." He said, looking at Erin who nodded slowly. They'd both been totally oblivious to the outside world, lost in conversation with his parents.

They both stood in the doorway, looking out at the snow when Jay's Mom walked up behind them. "There is no way I'm letting you two drive home in that." She said sternly.

Jay sighed, turning back to face her. "It'll be fine Mom, I'll be careful."

"No way! You can stay here tonight and drive home in the morning." She said firmly. "Don't you roll your eyes at me!" She scolded, making Erin laugh quietly.

"Your mothers right." His Dad added, pushing the door closed.

Jay shot Erin a helpless look. "It'll be fine. Neither of us have to work tomorrow." She smiled, taking off her jacket and shoes again.

"That's settled then!" His Mom smiled triumphantly, locking the front door. "I'll make up the bed in the spare room."

"Mom, I really don't-" Jay started, but she cut him off again.

"Don't be silly Jay. You're both responsible adults, I think you're old enough to share a bed." She called back over her shoulder, walking off to get some bed sheets.

Jay looked at Erin apologetically. "I'm so sorry." He whispered.

Erin shook her head, a hand resting gently on his arm. "It's fine Jay, really. I'm just glad you brought me." She smiled, leaning towards him. "Besides, we wouldn't want to crush your Mom's dreams that you might find someone willing to put up with you." She whispered in his ear, laughing quietly.

"Oh God, get a room you two!" His Mom scolded jokingly, suddenly reappearing in front of them.

"Mom!" Jay moaned, not understanding how Erin was finding this all so funny. He was absolutely mortified. "Good night!"

They walked down the hall together to his parents spare room together, Erin desperately hoping he couldn't hear her racing heart. She had no idea why she felt nervous suddenly, she'd fallen asleep on the sofa with him the night before. There was just something about it which felt different.

Jay cleared his throat quietly as he shut the bedroom door behind them, turning around to face Erin. "I can sleep on the floor, I don't.." He started, but she cut him off.

"It's fine Jay…" She smiled, then hesitated. "Unless you want too." She added quietly. She didn't think she'd ever felt so awkward in her life.

Jay shook his head slowly, as Erin took a step towards him. "Good." She whispered almost inaudibly. She could feel her heart racing even faster. They were stood so close together that she could feel his breath on her face. She started to lean towards him slightly, something she'd imagined doing so many times, then panicked slightly, wondering if he'd reject her.

He didn't though, leaning the rest of the way forward to meet her lips gently. He couldn't help but wonder if it was some kind of weird dream he was having- it seemed to be the only explanation for the fact he was in his parents spare bedroom, kissing Erin Lindsay.

Erin smiled against his lips, feeling his hands wrap around her waist as her own arms wound their way gently around his neck. "Erin.." He whispered, pulling away from her gently.

"It's ok." She whispered back to him, feeling his hands slide across the exposed skin at the base of her back, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind them. Jay looked at her for a moment, silently questioning her. He wanted to give her every last opportunity to pull away from him, he didn't want to lose her because of some stupid mistake made in the heat of the moment, but she didn't. Instead she just leaned forward slightly, pressing her lips gently back to his own.


	15. Chapter 15

_Hey guys, thanks so much for all your lovely reviews about the last chapter. Sorry this has taken me so long. I've been really struggling with this chapter for some reason. I hope this chapter is ok, let me know what you think._

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It took them nearly twice as long to drive back home again as it had to reach Jay's parents house. Much to Erin's relief Jay had driven much more sensibly than he had the other day. They were both quiet most of the way home, Jay focusing on the road ahead and Erin staring out of the window lost in thought. She was trying to make sense of what had happened between them last night, and what it meant now that they were back in the real world. It had been different somehow, in the bedroom of his parents house, as though they were somehow sheltered from the outside world. Now she was watching the city grow closer she couldn't help but wonder what was going to happen between them in their real lives.

"What are you thinking about?" Jay asked apprehensively, making her jump as he broke the silence.

Erin shrugged slightly, looking over at him. She knew full well what he was worried about. "It's a big day tomorrow." She said quietly, forcing a smile. It was only half the truth, she'd got much more than that on her mind.

Jay's eyes flickered back over to her, before looking back at the road. "You'll be fine." He smiled reassuringly. "You've done the training for it."

Erin forced another smile. "I guess. It's just scary, it's so much different in the real world than in the academy."

"You'll do fine... You're ready. Trust me." He said, despite the fact he knew no matter what he said it wouldn't make much difference.

Erin was quiet, until she noticed he was turning on to his street and not Voight's. "I thought you were dropping me back at Voight's?" She asked, looking over at him.

Jay parked the car outside his apartment. "Oh I will, just as soon as you stop pretending that last night didn't happen and talk to me about it." He replied, getting out of the car, not missing the way that Erin rolled her eyes before reluctantly climbing out of the car and following him up the steps.

She shut the door behind herself, turning to find Jay leaning against the wall, arms crossed and looking at her questioningly. "Well?" He asked.

"Well what? I told you Jay, it's fine."

Jay sighed. "Fine? Is that the best you've got?" He asked, taking a step closer to her.

"What do you want me to say Jay? Do you want me to declare my undying love for you? Lay my heart on the line again so that you can break it just like Luke did? Because I don't think I can have my heart broken again Jay."

Jay stood there for a moment, left reeling from what she'd just said. "You're comparing me to him?" He asked quietly, not really believing what she'd just said.

Erin looked up at him. "Jay... That's not what-"

He interrupted her. "What did you mean then Erin?" He asked, rubbing his hand through his hair trying to work out what was going on.

Erin sighed quietly. "Look Jay, I'm not saying you're like Luke... You couldn't be any more different. What I'm trying to say is that every time I let anyone in I end up getting hurt. I loved Luke Jay, I know it's hard for you to believe, but I thought he was the perfect guy for me... I don't think I can wait around for someone else to break my heart."

"Erin.. I-" he started, only for her to cut him off.

"No Jay... Because you'll say it now, that you won't hurt me... But sooner or later you'll get fed up with being with someone as messed up as me and you'll... You'll..." She broke off, quickly wiping her eyes.

"Erin." Jay said quietly, walking over to her and putting a hand gently on the side of her face. "It's not going to happen." He added quietly, gently guiding her face back up as she tried to avoid his eyes. "I promise."

Erin shook her head. "Don't."

"Don't what?" He asked, confused.

"Make promises you aren't going to keep." She whispered, looking back down at the floor.

"Erin." Jay said quietly, placing a hand gently on either side of her face, forcing her to look back up at him. "I'm not going anywhere." He said firmly. "I know you're not going to believe me, but it's true."

Erin looked at him for a few seconds, the tears glistening in her eyes. "I'm sorry." She mumbled, leaning her head against his shoulder. "I didn't mean.."

"I know.. It's ok." He smiled, gently kissing her forehead. "Now I should probably get you home. You've got a big day tomorrow." He said, loosening his arms from around her waist.

Erin stepped forwards as he moved backwards slightly. "Or I could just stay..." She said, her fingers trailing lightly across his cheek. "Then you can just take me in to work in the morning..."

Jay smiled, tightening his arms around her again. "Does this mean...?"

Erin smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'm working district 21." She smiled, looking at his excited grin.

"Do you know who your partner is?" He asked.

"Kim Burgess? Her partner got moved up to intelligence I think?" She asked.

Jay nodded. "You two will be great together." He smiled. "You'll be great." He reassured her, knowing she was nervous.

"Thanks." She smiled, leaning closer to him again, his lips meeting hers gently. "And I'm sorry about.."

Jay shook his head. "You don't have to apologise."

"It's just with starting work tomorrow... And the trial..." She explained.

"They've set a date?" Jay asked, it had almost slipped his mind entirely.

Erin nodded. "Next month."

"It's going to be ok." He said, knowing his words didn't sound convincing.

Erin smiled slightly. "I know. It has to be."


	16. Chapter 16

_Hi guys, since so many of you asked, I've included a little flashback of what happened between them that night. I hope you enjoy :)_

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"Come on! Hurry up! I don't want to be late on my first day!" Erin yelled, dragging the duvet off Jay.

"Ugh... We won't be late!" He mumbled, squeezing his eyes closed as she opened the curtains.

"We will! You're always late- now get up!" She laughed, shoving him out of the bed.

"Ouch!" Jay cursed as he fell out of the side of the bed, standing up and glaring at Erin. "I'm gonna get you for that."

Erin rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Just get ready!" She called back over her shoulder as she walked back towards the door. She was nervous about her first day in the job, more nervous than she was willing to let on to Jay. She just wanted to get there already and start doing something, hoping maybe that getting to work would help her calm down.

She stood in the kitchen, her fingers drumming nervously on the kitchen counter as she waited for Jay. She'd meant to go back to Voight's the night before, knowing full well Jay's relaxed attitude to getting ready for work wasn't going to help her the next morning. She'd meant to, but it hadn't happened. She couldn't help the smile on her face as her mind wandered back to that night at his parents house.

"Jay... I..." She started, pulling back slightly, her forehead just apart from his.

"It's ok.." He whispered quietly a hand coming up and his fingers gently smoothing away the crease on her forehead. "We can carry on as normal, we can pretend this never happened."

Erin struggled to conceal the hurt she was feeling, this was what she'd been afraid of all along. "Is that what you want?" She asked, looking down at the floor. She could feel the heat in her cheeks. She'd made a total fool of herself, just as she thought she would.

Jay sighed quietly. "Of course it's not what I want Erin... It's about what you want. If you want me to be your friend then that's what I'll be, if you want something more then-"

He was cut off, Erin's lips pressing against his own again, this time with much more urgency. He felt her hands knot gently through his hair, his own hands finding their way back around her waist, his fingers gently brushing against the bare skin under her shirt.

He felt her hands move from his hair down to the buttons on his shirt. "Erin.." He said, gently placing a hand over her own to stop her for a second. He looked down at her questioningly, wanting to make sure she wasn't going to end up regretting her actions in the morning.

She looked up and him, smiling, before gently moving her hand out of his grip and continuing to unbutton his shirt. "I'm sure." She whispered, as though she could read his mind.

Jay hesitated for a few moments, watching her facial expression, looking for any sign of doubt- but there wasn't one. He gently grasped the hem of her shirt, bringing it up over her head as she slid his own down over his shoulders, before pressing his lips gently back to hers. He could feel her smiling against his lips as he gently guided her back towards the bed.

Erin nearly screamed as she felt a pair of arms slide around her waist. She turned around to face Jay, who'd got a smirk on his face as he took in the blush on her cheeks. "What were you day dreaming about?" He asked, a mischievous twinkle in is eye.

"Nothing! Get your mind out of the gutter... We have to get to work!" She said, swatting at him gently.

Jay laughed against her, not releasing her. "I don't think I'm the one that needs to get their mind out of the gutter..." He laughed, raising an eyebrow at her. "Besides, since you made me get up so early we've got time..." He said leaning down and pressing his lips to her neck.

Erin shook her head, placing her hands on his chest and pushing him back. "Nope! Let's go!" She laughed, looking at his disappointed face, before seizing the opportunity to grab the car keys before he had a chance. He rolled his eyes, grabbing his coat before following her silent out of the door, knowing he wouldn't win the argument.

* * *

"You'll be fine." He smiled reassuringly as they walked in together. "Burgess will look after you." He leant in and gave her a quick kiss. "She knows Voight will make her life hell if not!" He laughed, before turning and walking up the stairs to intelligence.

Erin knew he was right, she'd be fine. She'd been trained to do the job, she needed to have a little faith. She'd be fine once she got going, at least she hoped she would be.

"Hi, I'm Kim Burgess."

"Erin Lindsay." She smiled, holding out a hand to the other woman who shook it.

"Ok then partner- let's go!" Burgess smiled, gesturing towards the car.

Erin followed along behind her, silently praying that her new partner was going to be a better driver than Jay. She didn't think she could the whole day in the car with her if not.

"What's wrong Lindsay?" Burgess asked, turning to look at Erin, frowning.

Erin laughed quietly. "Sorry, it's just Jay's driving... It's kind of made me a nervous passenger." She explained, hoping Burgess wouldn't take offence.

Much to her relief, she laughed. "You and me both! In fact I don't think anyone's been in a car with him more than once!" She said, getting in to the drivers seat. "I can assure you, my driving is much better than his... Although, don't tell him I said that!"

Erin laughed. "My lips are sealed!"

Kim turned and smiled. "Good... So then, you and Halstead huh? I think most if the female cops in chicago were disappointed to hear about that one!" She laughed.

Erin felt her face flush slightly. She didn't really know what to say. She wasn't really sure what was going on between her and Jay, she hadn't really expected anyone to know anything about it, let alone ask her out right.

Kim could read the expression on her face. "Sorry, didn't mean to put you on the spot... It's just Ruzek's been going on about his bet with Antonio and-"

"Wait.. What?! What bet?" Erin asked, although she had a feeling she already knew.

Kim looked sheepishly at Erin. "Oops."

Erin shook her head. "I'm going to kill him when I see him next." She muttered, making Kim laugh.

She was about to speak when the radio crackled in to life, interrupting the conversation. "Intelligence requesting back up." Erin heard, making a quick nite of the adress.

"En route." Kim replied quickly, starting the car. "Looks like you'll get to kick Ruzek's but sooner than you thought!" She laughed. "Halstead might even help you!"

Erin laughed quietly. Jay was right, she could tell her and Kim were going to get on well.


	17. Chapter 17

Thanks so much for all your lovely reviews, I've loved reading them all. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

* * *

Erin's arrived at Jay's late that evening, to find him already home before she'd got there, something which was a rare occurrence. Voight had always worked weird hours when she'd been living with him growing up, she'd forgotten just how demanding and time consuming the job could be in the time she'd spent away from them though.

"Hey..." She called, letting herself in to the apartment and heading immediately in the direction of the sofa. She was exhausted, both physically and mentally, from her first day on the streets as a cop. She didn't think there was a single part of her body that didn't ache and she felt as though she could sleep for a week.

"How was it?" Jay asked sitting down next to her and passing her a Chinese take out container that she gratefully accepted.

Erin shrugged. "It was kind of how I expected it to be... Just more hard work!" She told him I between mouthfuls of food.

Jay smirked. "It's not as easy as I make it look!" He laughed, ducking as she swung a arm playfully towards him rolling her eyes. "Speaking of... What the hell did you say to Ruzek earlier? The guy looked like he was about to have a nervous breakdown!" He asked looking at her curiously.

Erin shook her head, trying to surpress the laughter. "Oh no! You can ask him about that one!" She choked out eventually, remembering the whispered conversation she'd had with Ruzek, making the threats of what she'd do if he ever bet on her again very evident.

Jay frowned at her in confusion, making a mental note to ask Ruzek what was going on that Erin was finding quite so funny. He didn't say anything else though, knowing she pri ably wouldn't tell him. Instead he put his arm around her, pulling her gently closer so her head was resting against his chest as they sat and watched the tv quietly. "Are you ready for tomorrow?" Asked quietly after a few moments silence.

Erin sighed quietly, she'd been trying to forget about the fact Luke was going on trial the next day. "Yes.. Maybe... Sort of... I don't know.." She said, giving Jay a half hearted smile. "At least it will be done and we can move on." She added.

Jay nodded, pulling her a little closer. "It'll be ok... You can do this." He whispered, gently kissing the top of her head. He knew she'd been worrying about having to get up infront of people and tell them about what Luke had done to her. He knew she wasn't going to find it easy at all.

Erin attempted to smile and reassure him she was ok. The truth was she was far from okay with it, the idea of standing infront of a room full of strangers and having to recall what had happened between her and Luke- she didn't even want to think about it, let alone do it. "I hope so." She said quietly, leaning in closer to him.

Jay didn't say anything, knowing she'd talk when she was ready. He gently stroked his fingers through her hair, waiting patiently for her to speak again.

"What if no one believes me?" She asked him quietly, her voice barely a whisper. He heard her breath catch in her throat as she tried not to cry. "What if they believe him?"

"It's not going to happen Erin... They can't ignore the evidence of what he did to you." Jay said, knowing that there was so much evidence of what Luke had done to aerin there was no way he was going to get away with it.

"But... But what if they manage to make it look like it was my fault? Like I deserved it?" She asked, wiping her hand across her face to brush away the tears.

Jay shook his head, his jaw clenching slightly at the very thought of someone trying to blame Erin for what had happened. "I won't let them." He said firmly, knowing full well there was no way Voight would allow that to happen either. "I'll be right there." He promised, squeezing her tightly.

Erin smiled, looking up at him. "Thank you." She whispered, stretching up to kiss him gently. "For everything."

Jay smiled back at her, their faces just inches from each others. "Anytime." He smiled, knowing he well and truly meant it. He didn't like to consider what might have happened if they'd finished searching the flat below Erin's a few moment earlier, what could've happened if him and Antonio hadn't forced their way past Luke and in to to the flat. There were just a few too many what ifs in the equation for him, a few too many ways Erin's story could've had a different ending. "Come on, let's get you to bed.. You've got a big day tomorrow." He said, standing up and gently tugging on Erin's hand.

She stood up and followed him through to the bedroom, laying down beside him as he turned off the lights. She knew she wasn't going to be able to sleep, otherwise Jay would end up laying there all night worrying about her, so she pretended to sleep just long enough for him to start snoring gently beside her. Then she gently slid out of his arms and went back to pacing up and down beside the windows, wondering what on earth the next day was going to bring.

Jay might be convinced that there was no way Luke could get away with what he'd done but Erin on the other hand wasn't so sure. She knew Luke better than anyone else, and she knew he'd probably manage to find a way to turn it around and make it her fault. Either way, she didn't think Jay would still feel the same by the time he'd heard the whole truth in court the next day. She knew Luke would use everything he could against her, every mistake she'd ever made, every secret she'd ever had would be used against her tomorrow, she just hoped her relationship with Jay was going to be strong enough to withstand it.


	18. Chapter 18

Erin slid back into bed beside Jay five minutes before the alarm was due to go off, closing her eyes and pretending to be asleep. He didn't need to know that she'd spent all night wide awake and pacing around the apartment, worrying about the day to come. Eventually the alarm sounded and she sprang back out of bed before Jay had even managed to turn the alarm off.

She headed straight for the bathroom, getting into the shower and taking her time to wash her hair. The hot water wasn't doing anything to wash away the rising tension in her body, but it came with the bonus of not having Jay there asking her if she was ok. She knew he was bound to ask the question, and she had no way of telling him what was going on in her mind. She wasn't even sure if she knew how she was feeling about the trial.

Eventually she had to get out of the shower, getting dressed in the skirt and blouse she'd bought the previous week so she'd have something to wear to court. She tried to steady her hands as she stood in front of the mirror, scraping her hair back into a bun. As she'd predicted, her sleepless night was evident on her face, the dark circles under her eyes clearly visible. She just hoped Jay wouldn't bring it up, the last thing she wanted was to argue with him just before she had to go and testify against the man she'd thought she'd loved.

"Are you ready?" Erin wheeled around to find Jay stood behind her in a suit.

She nodded, trying to rearrange her face in to something that didn't look like sheer panic. "Let's go." She nodded.

She let Jay drive, no arguements. Her head wasn't in the right place to be driving a car, she'd almost definitely cause an accident if she did. Jay seemed to sense she was in another place entirely, just driving them quietly to the court while Erin tapped her fingers nervously against the dashboard.

They arrived all too quickly, Erin reluctantly getting out of the car. She smiled slightly as Jay put an arm around her waist and held her tightly. They met Voight outside the court who smiled at them both. He squeezed her arm gently as they walked up the steps together. "It's going to be ok kid." He said reassuringly. Erin just wished she could believe him.

* * *

She could feel everyone's eyes on her as she hurried out of the court room as quickly as she could. She wanted to be as far away from there as possible. She wanted to find some way to erase from her mind the smirk on Luke's face. She should've known he'd find a way out of it some how. She'd stood there, recounting everything Luke had done to her, every painful detail, only to have it ripped to shreds by Luke's lawyer. The whole time he'd sat there with that smug expression on his face. It was everything it had been in her nightmares.

She could faintly hear Jay and Voight behind her, calling her name. She didn't stop though, she couldn't. They'd both promised her it would be ok, that Luke would be going to jail. They'd said it as though there were no way there would possibly be anyother outcome. Although she knew she couldn't hold it against them, she was having a hard time not doing so.

After rushing off down the street she found her way in to a tiny little bar she'd never even heard of. She was just relieved, figuring the chances of Jay and Voight finding her there were pretty slim. She ordered several shots, downing them in seconds. She wasn't much of a drinker, not having grown up watching her mother, but she figured it might be enough to stop her going out and getting what she really wanted. She couldn't let herself end up back on drugs. She couldn't do that to Jay and Voight.

Quite a few drinks later, she stumbled drunkenky out of the bar in to the darkness. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, only to find it had run out of battery. She was starting to feel guilty, knowing that Jay and Voight would be worried about her. As she stood looking around the street she was struggling to remember where exactly she was and how on earth she was going to get back.

"Need a ride?"

The voice she heard behind her quickly sobered her up. She didn't acknowledge him, just turning and walking quickly down the street. She didn't care if she was going the right way or not, as long as she was going away from him.

She sped up again, panicking as she heard footsteps behind her. He laughed as he drew level with her. "Did you really think I'd just let you send me to jail?" He asked, grabbing hold of her arm and pulling her roughly to a stop.

Erin struggled to pull her arm away from him to no avail. She nearly screamed as he pushed her up against the cold wall of the building the were outside. "Listen to me you stupid cow... None of what happened was my fault... You deserved every single thing that you got... And don't think for a second I'm going to let you get away with what you did." He growled, getting in her face.

Erin cringed back in to the wall, closing her eyes. She was desperately hoping it was a nightmare she'd wake up from any second- only she wasn't going to. She felt the tears welling in her eyes as she opened them, watching Luke walk off down the street. She had no idea how he'd found her, if he'd been looking for her or if she'd just been in the wrong place at the same time. Either way, his threat was still hanging in the air. She had no doubt that he meant every word. The question was, how was she supposed to carry on living her life if she was looking over her shoulder the whole time. She wasn't sure if she could do it.


	19. Chapter 19

Erin kept walking as fast as she could, not quite daring to look back over her shoulder and see if he was following her. Her heart was racing and she wasn't quite sure if it was from how fast she was going, on the fear of Luke being there. She had to admit it was probably the latter. She'd never thought she'd end up face to face with him again after all that had happened. How was she supposed to start over and move on with her life if she was looking over her shoulder constantly worried about Luke getting hold of her. Jay and Voight had both assured her that Luke was going to jail. They'd made it sound as though the possibility of him walking free was nonexistent, leaving her totally unprepared for the judge to let him walk free.

She sighed in relief as she came around a corner on to a familiar looking street. In her panic she hadn't been paying attention to where she was going and she was worried she was totally lost, but she was only a couple of blocks from Voight's thankfully.

She didn't think she'd ever been so relieved to reach Voight's house as she walked up the steps to the front door. She hesitated for a second, wondering whether to knock, before deciding to just open the door. She opened it slowly, peering around to find Voight pacing up and down on the phone to someone. His head snapped around as he heard the door creak open, the relief visible on his face. "I'll call you back." He said quickly, hanging up the phone. "Where have you been?" He asked, coming towards her.

"I needed some time to clear my head." She said quietly. "I'm sorry…. My phone ran out of battery and…" She stopped just short of telling him what had happened with Luke.

Voight sighed and then raised an eyebrow. "And?" He asked.

She shook her head. "Doesn't matter."

He raised an eyebrow at her again, knowing she was hiding something. "You'd better call Halstead. He's been out looking for you.

Erin nodded, taking the phone he was holding out to her. She knew she needed to tell Voight what had happened with Luke, but she was worried he'd do something stupid. She knew what he was like. She'd call Jay and get him to pick her up, then she'd tell him once they got back to his apartment and away from Voight. She didn't need Voight ending up in jail because of her problems.

Jay turned up a few minutes after she hung up, and after a whispered conversation with Voight, drove her back to his apartment. She could see in his face he'd got so many questions he wanted to ask her, but he kept quiet, silently driving back. It wasn't until they got back to the apartment that she spoke. "Just spit it out Jay." She said, walking over and sitting on the sofa.

"How much of what he said was true?" Jay asked, sitting down next to her. He'd been surprised by some of what he'd heard in court that day, wondering if it could actually be true. Voight hadn't seemed surprised at all, but then again he'd known the old Erin and he'd seen that side of her, Jay was having a hard time imagining that version of her.

"All of it." Erin whispered, not looking at him. This was exactly what she'd been afraid of, everything that she'd done, every last mistake, dragged out in front of a courtroom full of strangers. She knew Luke well enough to know he'd do whatever it took, even if it meant making her out to be some crazed drug addict. "I was a different person then…" She added.

Jay put a hand on her cheek, gently turning her face to look at him. "I know." He said, smiling softly. "He can't hurt you anymore." Erin inhaled sharply as he said it, the expression on her face giving it away. "Erin?" He questioned.

"I… I ran in to Luke, down to street somewhere… I was lost… and.." She stopped, the tears running down her cheeks as Jay pulled her into his arms. "I can't live my life looking over my shoulder Jay."

It took Jay a moment to get control of his anger, his initial response was to leave Erin there, go out and find Luke and make him pay for what he'd done. Once he'd thought about it though, he realised that it really wasn't the way to go. The last thing Erin needed was him to end up in jail, he was guessing that was the reason she hadn't told Voight about it. "I won't let him hurt you." He said quietly, holding her closer.

Erin rested her head against his chest, trying to gain control of her emotions. "I know." She whispered, truly believing that Jay wouldn't let anything happen to her. She was more concerned about what might happen when Jay wasn't there, he couldn't be with her every single second. That was what frightened her. She wasn't about to tell Jay that though, he didn't need to know how much what had happened had actually shaken her. He worried too much. "Come on, lets go to bed." She said, taking Jay's hand and pulling him to his feet. "We've both got to work tomorrow." She said, pulling him in the direction of the bedroom.

Jay was frowning as she turned back to face him. "Are you sure you'll be ok to go back?" He asked her.

Erin forced a small smile. "I'll be fine.. I can't hide forever… Besides, I'll have Burgess with me." She attempted to reassure him, as well as herself. In reality she wanted to spend the next day locked in the safety of the apartment where Luke couldn't get to her, but she knew she couldn't hide forever. "Besides, I don't think even Luke would be stupid enough to turn up at the precinct… He knows Voight is there." She said, laying down on the bed.

Jay didn't answer her, but she could see from the creases on his forehead he was worrying about it. "Are you sure?" He asked, climbing in to bed next to her.

She rolled over, resting her head gently against his chest. "I'm sure Jay… I'm not going to hide from him." She told him, smiling slightly as he wrapped his arms around her tightly.

He sighed quietly. "If you're sure it's what you want… Because I'm sure no one would argue with Voight if…" He started again, but she interrupted him.

"Jay, stop… I'm going to work… End of… Now go to sleep!" She laughed, reaching over to turn off the light.

She heard Jay sigh loudly. "Fine…. You are the most stubborn person I know though! Anyone else would love the chance to have a day off work!" He laughed.

Erin prodded him playfully. "I'm not sure if that was an insult or not!" She said, pretending to be offended.

"Hey, come back here!" He laughed, reaching out to grab her as she rolled away from him.

Erin gave in quickly, rolling back towards him and kissing him gently. "I love you really, you know that." She whispered.

Jay smiled into the darkness. "I love you too." He said, kissing her again. "Now go to sleep!" He laughed.


	20. Chapter 20

Erin sat behind the desk and glared at the clock. Time seemed to be moving impossibly slowly that day. Voight had managed to persuade Sargent Platt to put her on desk duty, and despite Erin's attempts to protest, neither of them would budge. So, she'd been sat behind the desk, staring at the clock for exactly 3 hours and 49 minutes.

She rolled her eyes, watching Jay and Ruzek come back in to the precinct, both flashing her a grin. "Having fun?" Ruzek called, laughing to himself and walking off before she had a chance to reply.

Jay smiled slightly, walking over to the desk and leaning against it. His smile widened considerably as he took in the glare Erin was giving him. "Don't you blame this on me!" He laughed, holding his hands up in mock surrender. "I told you to stay home!"

Erin pulled a face, sticking her tongue out at him. "Oh haha." She said sarcastically, looking back down at the papers she was filing.

"So mature!" Jay teased, waiting for her to look back up at him. "Come upstairs for a bit, I'm sure I can find you something to do."

Erin grinned. "Thank god!" She smiled, rushing around to the front of the desk and up the stairs before Jay had a chance to change his mind.

"Sorry, no secretary's allowed up here- police only." Ruzek smirked, leaning back on his chair.

Erin glared at him, walking closer. "Sorry... Could you repeat that? I didn't quite catch it." She said, towering over him, eventually cracking a smile as she watched him blush.

"Erin! Stop scaring Ruzek and let him get on with his job!" She heard Voight call from his office.

She sighed dramatically, making Jay laugh quietly, turning around and walking in to Voight's office. "Y'know... I have a job to get on with if someone would let me." She complained, sitting down in one of the chairs opposite him.

Voight laughed. "Yeah- helping Sargent Platt with her filing... No one is stopping you!" He gestured to the door.

Erin glared at him. "That's not what I meant!"

"Oh I know kid! But I'm not discussing it with you... You're not going back out there until Luke's behind bars." Voight said sternly.

"But-"

Voight shook his head. "But nothing... You won't find anyone in this precinct stupid enough to disobey my orders so just forget it!" He laughed, turning his attention back to his computer. "Go and take it out on Halstead! It was his idea!" He laughed.

Erin pushed her chair back, walking out in the direction of Jay. She caught the look that Antonio and Ruzek exchanged, but she was more concerned with the slightly panicked look on Jay's face as she walked towards him. "Your idea hey?" She asked, her tone even- but Jay knew her well enough to know he was going to pay for it later.

He gulped slightly. "It's for your own safety." He said, hoping she'd understand they'd only done it because they cared. Judging from the look on her face, she was far from understanding. "I did tell you to stay at home." He added.

Erin glared at him. "You're so going to pay for this." She muttered in his ear, before walking quickly back down the stairs to resume her desk duty.

Jay's eyes followed her out of the room before coming around to meet Ruzek's. "Good Luck Man!" Ruzek called across the room, laughing quietly at Jay's slightly shell shocked expression. "I think you'll need it!"

Jay didn't say anything, just turning back to the computer. He had a feeling Ruzek was right, he dreaded to think what form of revenge Erin might take.

The rest of the day dragged by slowly, but eventually Jay made his way down the stairs, only to find the desk empty. "She left a while ago." Sargent Platt told him.

Jay sighed, she was obviously really mad if she'd decided to walk home in this weather. It was absolutely freezing out and just starting to snow. As he walked across the parking lot to where he'd left his car he heard his phone ring. He took it out to find a message from Erin. 'Enjoy the walk home- you really shouldn't leave your car keys lying around.' He groaned aloud, looking at the now empty space his car had been parked in.

"Get in Halstead!" He heard from behind him, turning around to find Voight behind him in his car. "She took your car?" It was more of a statement than a question. Jay nodded and Voight laughed. "Good luck getting her to forgive you!" He laughed as Jay climbed in to the passenger seat of his car.

"Why do I get the feeling she's going to make me pay for this?" Jay asked, watching the snow fall.

Voight chuckled. "Because it's Erin- there's no way she'd let us get away with putting her on desk duty... If it makes you feel any better I doubt I'll get away scot free." Voight said, pulling up outside Jay's apartment a few minutes later.

"It does- I have to survive the night!" Jay complained, climbing out the car.

"Good Luck!" Voight called to him, laughing to himself as he drove away.

Jay climbed up the steps to his apartment warily, not really sure what was waiting for him on the other side. Why couldn't Erin understand that him and Voight only did what they did because they cared? "Erin, I'm home." He called, letting himself in to the apartment. "Erin?" He called again.

"I'm here." She said, stepping out of the bathroom. "I'm just not sure I'm ready to forgive you get." She muttered, sitting down on the sofa and crossing her legs.

Jay sighed quietly, sitting down on the other end of the sofa. "We only did it because we care... He's still out there Erin-"

She cut him off. "I know he is Jay, but I can't hide forever! You need to let me get on with my life." She said, scooting across the sofa and resting her head against his shoulder.

"I know... I just worry..." He said, putting an arm around her.

"You worry too much- I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself... Besides, I don't think even Luke would be stupid enough to mess with me while I'm at work." She said, looking up at him.

Jay smiled reluctantly. "I'm not going to win this argument am I?" He said, laughing slightly.

"Nope!" Erin laughed, stretching up to kiss him. "You should know by now, I'm always right!"

Jay rolled his eyes. "Fine you win! But that doesn't mean Voight's going to agree!"

"Oh trust me, Voight's never been able to say no to me!" Erin laughed, grinning at Jay.


	21. Chapter 21

Erin had been wrong though, Voight had said no. So after another painfully long day of desk duty she was sat on the sofa waiting for Jay to come home. She'd waited a while for him but the intelligence unit had been caught up they were working on a big case and Jay had said he'd be a while. So she'd left him there, him promising he wouldn't be long. That had been two hours ago. The food she'd cooked sat on the side in the kitchen, waiting.

Erin pulled out her phone, ready to leave yet another voicemail. "Jay, it's me. I was just-" she was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. She paused mid sentence, getting up to open the door. She guessed Jay had just forgotten his key, so she didn't bother to look through the peep hole. "I guess you.." She laughed, looking up as she opened the door a little wider. As she realised who it was on the other side of the door she attempted to slam it shut quickly, but he wedged his foot in the doorway to stop her.

"Hello Erin." He laughed, forcing his way through the door. "Aren't you going to invite me in?" He said, easily shoving her to the side as she struggled to close the door on him. Shutting the door behind him, he turned to face her, putting a hand on either side of her so she was pinned up against the wall. "Did you really think I was just going to let you try and send me to jail? That I'd just let you leave me for some cop?" He yelled. "He's not here to save you now though, is he?" He laughed.

* * *

"This has been the longest day ever!" Ruzek complained as they finally made their way back up the stairs to intelligence.

"Stop complaining!" Jay laughed, elbowing him as they went to sit at their desks. He had to admit though, it had been a long day. Everytime they'd thought they were getting close to finishing, something else would happen and they'd end up with even more work to do. He'd told Erin he'd be late, he just hadn't thought it would be nearly 2am by the time they got back.

He looked at his phone which sat on the desk, exactly where he'd left it when they'd gone out earlier. He couldn't decide if he should call Erin and tell her he'd be home soon, or leave her because she'd be asleep. He decided he'd just fill out his paperwork as quickly as possible then leave, that way he'd be home sooner.

It was nearly 3am when he noticed his phone flashing, indicating he'd got a voicemail. He knew it would be Erin, asking where he was since he'd promised her he wouldn't be too late. He picked up the phone to listen to the message. "Jay, It's me. I was just….. I guess you…. Hello Erin…. Aren't you going to invite me in?" Jay frowned, trying to work out who the other voice was on the message.

He tried to call her back, but she wasn't answering. "Come on Erin." He muttered, trying her again.

"What's wrong Halstead?" Voight asked, walking out of his office and turning the light off.

"I got this really weird voice mail from Erin and now she's not answering her phone… It's probably nothing… I just don't know…" Jay said, looking up at Voight.

"Let me hear it." Voight frowned, walking over to Jay's desk and playing the message again.

As they both listened to it, Jay suddenly realised why the voice sounded so familiar, his blood running cold. "Luke." He whispered, looking up at Voight.

"Crap! Ruzek, Olinsky! Follow us!" Voight yelled, already running towards the stairs with Jay close behind him. Ruzek and Olinsky exchanged a quick look of confusion before running down the stairs and also getting in to Voight's car.

They raced across town, Jay getting out of the car before Voight had even stopped. The others were right behind him, Voight shoving past him as he undid the front door. "Erin!" He yelled, rushing through the apartment.

As they rounded the corner towards the bathroom, they came face to face with Luke, who quickly took a swing at Jay. Voight grabbed hold of him, slamming him in to the wall. "We've got him... Find Erin!" Voight called back as he and Olinsky wrestled Luke out of the front door.

Jay walked quickly down to the bathroom door, turning the handle to find it locked. "Erin?" He called, knocking gently on the door. "It's me... Voight and Olinsky have got him." He stood on the other side of the door for a few moments. "Can I come in?"

There was another long silence, then he heard the sound of the door unlocking. He slowly opened the door, peering around to find Erin sat on the floor. She didn't look up at him as he walked towards her, keeping her face hidden behind her hair as she hugged her knees.

Jay slowly sat down next to her. "Erin?" He said gently, reaching out to touch her arm. As his fingers made contact with her arm she flinched slightly. "Did he hurt you?"

Erin shook her head still not looking at him. "I'm fine." She mumbled, even though she felt far from fine.

"I'm so sorry Erin... I should've been here." Jay whispered quietly, slowly putting his arm around her.

After a few more seconds of trying to hold herself together Erin finally looked up at him through tear filled eyes. "It's not your fault." She choked out, burying her face in his shoulder as she started to cry.

Jay's eyes rested on the bruises that were starting to form on her arms as he held her tight, making eye contact with Voight who'd just walked in to the room. "How are you?" Voight asked, making Erin jump. "sorry kid." He said, leaning against the bathroom wall.

After a few long moments of silence Voight spoke again. "will you two be ok here? Were going to take him back to the district now."

Jay nodded, still looking at Erin. He should've been there, he should've noticed her message earlier. He couldn't help but feel there was something he could've done to stop this happening. "Make sure he doesn't get away with this." He said to Voight before he left, getting a quick nod in response.

"He won't."


End file.
